The Dark Side

Quite a good day despite some things...

nokasslash@gmail.com — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:11:53 GMT

My little baby cousin's still in the hospital. =( The doctors are running more tests trying to figure out exactly what's wrong with him. Apparently it has to do with some sort of bacterium.

Still, despite a rocky start involving getting up obscenely early, walking a mile long climb to get somewhere where I wasted my precious morning time, I had a pretty good day today. Filled with mood boosters.

I got to stare at a friend's engagement ring! =O Me and a couple of friends did girly ooooh-ing and aaawww-ing and "Shiny!" and "Pretty!" exclamations several times. I've known her for 4 years and OMG she's getting MARRIED! It's still so weird to think of friends of mine getting married. I'm a grown up! WTF?? =P

Still, we discussed some ideas about organizing her bachelorette party. She was horrified at some of them, but in a really good, positive way, I think. It just might be a girls night out to remember (which I have absolutely no idea when will come to pass).

Later, a great friend of mine (one of the oooh-ing and awww-ing girls) asked me to hang out and window shop in the afternoon and how could I refuse? We spent a few hours proving that unplanned things just go THAT much better. We were carelessly singing along to Frank Sinatra in her car, being sometimes loud and always very, very off-key. We ran away from annoying insurance-selling people (at least I think it was insurance) and we weren't the least bit discreet about it. We read children's books (the ones with big pictures and little boxes to open) and saw a children's tv-show on display at Fnac. My friend was in quite a randy mood! Thank goodness we stayed away from the big Josh Halloway poster in one of the perfume shop!! Instead we had time to dwell on Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Henry Cavill and, especially, Clive Owen. We walked around talking about his good looks. Then we saw a big white and purple mechanical moving cow (part of an advertisement for a brand of chocolate) and talked about chocolate-covered Clive Own. Then we went reckless and wild and had some ice-cream, and talked about caramel-covered Clive Owen. And manly, beastly Clive Owen all the way home. So yeah, we were fantasizing just a tiny wee bit. I bet she's watching Sin City or Gosford Park right now. XD

All in all, I'm still feeling giddy and giggly from today's activities and am feeling good about it. That's always a good thing, right? Off to bed with me now, to watch the L*Word. =P

worries

nokasslash@gmail.com — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 23:43:39 GMT

So my 2 and a half months old baby cousin is in the hospital. =( It seems he had some weird fever and was commited to the hospital on friday night because the doctors couldn't find out the cause for his condition. He's still in observation but it appears he'll be able to go home tomorrow. I'm hoping for the best here.

I still CAN'T BELIEVE my uncle didn't let us know about this right away! We're family, we're supposed to support each other at times like this! It's selfless and good of him not to want us to worry too much but if the situation was reversed, I know he'd be the first to worry and rush to our side.

Get well soon little Gonçalo! *goes sit in her corner to worry some more*

The Tudors

nokasslash@gmail.com — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 22:28:37 GMT

The Tudors. This show was October's present to me. =P

First season is 10 episodes long, second season starts next year, and OMG what a ride! XD

The show fascinated me with its marvellous wardrobe and sets as well as for it's many inconsistencies. The truth is, it's spectacularly flawed, yet strangely addictive. Also, the history it presents isn't history at all. But as long as you have eye candy, who the hell cares about history anyway??

So, I'm pimping the show anyway. Eye candy, more or less bearable plot, combined with excellent backgrounds make for a pleasant experience (especially when there are plenty of nekkid men around XD).

And since I've damned myself as a terrible perve, I might as well go all the way and post some eye candy teasers. ;D I bring you Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, always sexy and the main reason why I started to watch the show in the first place and HENRY CAVILL. What a find! So freakin' gorgeous! I've found some~~one~~thing new to fantasize about. That man's seriously HOT!

Kitty pics! In lack of something to write about. =P

nokasslash@gmail.com — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 21:28:19 GMT

There's a full moon tonight! I think... At least it looks that way from where I'm sitting looking out the window. I love full moon nights! ♥ Makes me think of magic and Remus Lupin! ♥

So far I'm sticking to my plan of posting something new every day. Aren't you proud, teresabloom? XD I bet you are.

However, there are always days like today when there's just nothing I can think of to write about. So, I remembered the pics I took of my cat, Horácio, a while ago and had stashed away in my computer somewhere.

And ta-daaaaaaa! Here you go! A kitty pics post! =D

The Badass Look ™!

Looking sleepy.

Not looking. XD

The I'm-sleeping-stop-annoying-me-with-that-camera Look. But I carried on anyway. =P

I really ♥ this pic! Cute! XD

HAPPY B-DAY JAMIESDREAM!!

nokasslash@gmail.com — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:15:05 GMT

Happy Birthday jamiesdream !!!!

I hope you're having a truly wonderful day surrounded by your friends and family and having loads of fun and CAKE! Cause you gotta have cake! It's like a law, or something... =P

We've been out of touch recently but LJ has these really useful reminders and I couldn't let the occasion slip by unnoticed!! *throws confetti*

In other news, I've gone ahead and bought myself a new shirt and a new sweater today! =D So yay for that! Shopping annoys me something fierce so it's not something I do very often. =P The shirt's a really cute shade of yellow and the shirt's black with a white-circles pattern. ♥

My mom hates the sweater though. Says she won't ever put it in the washing machine. -_- Damn her hate for yellow clothing! I mean, what kind of person doesn't like yellow clothing?? I ask you!

XD

Harry Potter in the Hood

nokasslash@gmail.com — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:45:13 GMT

I first saw this last week and I've been rewatching it from time to time since then. XD This video is seriously made of awesome.

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!

If this doesn't get me in the mood to write some HP fanfiction, I don't know what will! XD You can check out a version with lyrics here cause reading them makes the whole experience even better. =P

From now on, since is teresabloom's nothing if not a good example to me, I've decided to try and post something every day. Which is what makes posts like this one happen. XD

Joining the fandom celebration! Also, some landscape pics. XD

nokasslash@gmail.com — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 18:48:52 GMT

DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!!!!! If that doesn't make any slash-fandom-fangirl squee 'til her voice's gone, I don't know what does! Saturday was a Happy, Happy Day for fandom. Me included (although nearly not cause I knew nothing and THANK YOU cecine for the heads up!!) And doesn't Dumbledore's love story turn out to be one of the most heartbreakingly beautiful ones in the whole of the HP books??!! *squeeeeeeeee*

Read the news here @ Leaky Cauldron.

WE LOVE YOU JK!! ♥♥ I have to admit she broke my heart with her constant dismissing of Draco as an evil, unworthy character, but she certainly made amends now! ♥♥ I don't think there was anyone, belonging to slash-fandom, who didn't suspect the pairing in question and many even shipped it (I certainly did, thanks to the always beneficial influence of my dear cecine), but to see it suddenly turned into canon is JOY!! XD

Onto other things, after a very strange and alarming episode in which I temporarily became a firewoman, about a couple of weeks ago, I've been more in touch with nature. =P (This is what happened: there was a bonfire near my house that wasn't put out properly, there was wind, there was reigniting. Then there was me, home alone, not noticing anything wrong till the fire had spread out. Then there was calling neighbours and buckets of water. XD) Anyways, this year, all throughout the summer and early autumn, nature has provided beautiful spectacles. Sadly, not all can be caught on camera. Cameras can't catch warm rain or the smell of ocean salt in the air. Not yet, anyway.

Temperature-wise, the summer was mild and the autumn is warm, more so than any other I recall, and with more thunderstorms than usual. They're one of nature's most spectacular displays, though, and I love to watch them. (Even though I know one's not supposed to be near windows during a thunderstorm). =P Again, sadly, I couldn't take pictures of any of it, BUT I did end up feeling extremely bored one day and took pictures of the landscape view out of my living room window. XD So, it's better than nothing, right?

So this is what can be seen from one of the windows on the top floor of our house. =D

IN THE AFTERNOON:

AT DUSK:

The Surprisingly Short Summer of 2007

nokasslash@gmail.com — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 21:54:36 GMT

Even though the weather's still nice and warm around here, summer's long gone and autumn's making all the leaves fall, cluttering the backyard and forcing people (read: me) to spend some nice quality time with a broom sweeping them all away.

It all passed in the blink of an eye! I went to my first house-warming party! Yay for that! A horrifying reminder that I'm getting old. My friends are starting to get homes of their own! Still, house-warming parties are great, or so my experience has led me to believe. It's amazing what a balanced combination of food, alcohol and board games can do. Also, after a few hours, conversations start to get interesting. It seems that, relatively to the size of its body, the mussel has the largest penis of the animal world. Who said you didn't learn something new everyday?

FOOD!! Always important...

Chillin' on the couch! And my friend on the floor is NOT intoxicated, he's just a bad-timing-snapshot victim! =P

Here's proof that the evening was indeed A-OK! XD

Kitchen's are such great places to take pictures...

... Aren't they? =P

And this one I included only for the power of the t-shirt! XD

Another note-worthy event were the immensely enjoyable three days I had when teresabloom graced us, humble hobbits XD, with her presence for a couple of days. From re-living childhood experiences through cartoons to barbecues and sightseeing, we did it all. And, in a moment of inspired random craziness, I took it upon myself to turn the recount of our KMP Gathering 2007 into an animated tale which I now present to the world, along with a few photos (cause, let's face it, quality of .gif files sucks).

Having lunch after the whole messy barbecue process! =P

In Sines, cause the background deserved a photo and we had a place to sit. XD

The honest truth: that's actually a little notebook and all of its pages are blank. XD

One could make whole comedy shows around the way pronounciation is described on those Basic English Phrases books. LOL

Apart from the occasional outting with friends to clear our heads, laugh and go crazy, the time I spent with my family was something new. Faced with the impossibility to have a proper vacation (i.e. a few days away from home to relax and gather energies) due to all of the unfortunate events of this year, along with the setting up of my father's "workshop" in our garage, I can't recall a summer when we spent so much time together as a family. In our case, being generally unbalanced, that means plenty of fun too and some joke-worthy moments to go along with it.

THE SWOLLEN PARENTS - THEATRICAL PRODUCTION

*morning*

MOM: ZOMG! My face is swelling! It must be a tooth infection!
ME: You look like a stuntwoman straight out of Rocky VII!!
MOM: ZOMG! The left side of my face looks like a potato! I shall now go to the doctor's!!
ME: About time Chipmunk! ... Is that Eye of the Tiger playing in the background?

*afternoon*

BROTHER: Dad! Wasps are all over the place! RUN!!
DAD: Ha! I am invencible! Wasps can't hurt me!
WASP: *stings*
DAD: Oh noes! Right ~~beneath~~ in the eye! Now the left side of my face is partially swollen!
ME: Way to go, Chipmunk!
BROTHER: Eeehhhmmm... Wait... hadn't you said that before?
ME: *despairs*
BROTHER: Monkey see, monkey does...

The very day summer ended was marked by an event that makes me grin stupidly in pride. My brother had his first concert, along with the band he was in at the time (I understand they've disbanded and were reformed with new members since then) called Walk the Line. It was a small affair in an old building belonging to a local sports/entertainment association. The audience was composed of friends and family, some, like my parents, enjoying their very first rock concert. It was very exciting looking at the stage, simple and rudimentary as it was, and seeing my brother on it, focused on his music and not making any mistakes. Yeah, I'm a proud sister, I'm not making any secret of it. =P I happen to think my brother's quite a talented bass player.

Do forgive the bad quality. The lighting conditions did nothing to help my poor little camera.

So these are the highlights of a summer that rushed by, even though I begged it not to, signifying my kicking my own arse into action and start posting at LJ again. I've been extremely negligent to the poor thing lately. *pets it*

Fic: Ever Lasting Flame (7/11) PG-13 HET

nokasslash@gmail.com — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 20:16:18 GMT

Title: Ever Lasting Flame (7/11)
Author: Nokas
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/OFC
Disclaimer: Nope. Not true. Never happened. Even the OFC doesn't (really) belong to me.
Beta: None. All mistakes are my own. Do point them out if you spot them, please.
Summary: Filled with a need to change, Teresa decides to start her life over in New Zealand. A massive Hollywood production and a one of its actors conspire to make her feel alive once more. (A/N: very crappy summary, I know).

“Breathe in the sweet scent of the polluted smog!”

The joyful laughter of two young women resonated and lost itself through a street filled with rushed moving human and animal bodies. It was just about 9am on a cloudy morning and Tatiana had already nearly stepped on some woman’s snotty little poodle while accompanying Teresa to work. But she didn’t care; she was far too ecstatic and rambled on even as she almost tripped over someone’s pet again. Too excited to even sleep late or stay indoors on her day off. Really, Alex shouldn’t have told her about the weekend trip he’d been planning for the two of them the night before; she probably hadn’t even been able to sleep well. She resembled an over-enthusiastic puppy.

“Oh my God hun! How much did my life change in a year? I hadn’t travelled so much. Surely I didn’t have this much fun. And let me check…. Nope! I didn’t have a gorgeous boyfriend back then either!”

“Alone for the weekend! Oh the joy! Oh the possibilities! Finally no one around to see me pour marmalade all over my breakfast cereals!” Teresa said, still chuckling from her friend’s previous remark.

“Well I don’t know sweetie… rumours have it that you might be quite busy with your own British hunk.” The other girl pointed out, with a wink and a mischievous grin gracing her lips. Teresa tried to force herself not to blush but was unable to stop the rush of blood to her face.

“There’s nothing more than friendship between me and Orlando,” she all but whispered. “Besides, nothing could make me pass up the chance to try out mayonnaise pudding without anyone around ready to throw up!”

“Really? What about that sweet goodbye kiss you told me about? And you never called me as often as you’ve been calling him this past week and we were best friends living 180km apart! Plus, I happen to know for a fact that you’re totally in love with him!”

“Am not! I kind of… have a crush on him… but it’s not… you know…”

“I know you’re being a bold faced liar right now! You want to be all over young Mr. Bloom! And let me tell you here, just between you and me…” Tatiana pretended to look around her as if checking for eavesdroppers “I don’t blame you!”

Teresa struggled to look shocked though failed miserably as she erupted into a fit of nervous giggles.

“Tatiana! What would Alex say??”

“He’d say “I’m prettier!” and then pout!” She did a mock impression of her boyfriend and laughed again. She knew how nervous her friend was and anything she could to keep the other girl’s mind off her worries was worth while.

“Speaking of Alex. Where is he anyway? Thought he said preparations were running late and he’d meet us by the Café!”

“He better be here or I’m catching the next flight back to Portugal and he won’t see me till he promises never to break promises again!”

Teresa blinked, lost for a couple of seconds. Who ever said coherence could walk hand in hand with excitement? “As if you would survive if that happened!”

As the two chuckling friends tried to regain their composures and complained of their stomachs hurting already, they spotted two familiar figures seating inside the Café. Alex and Sala had apparently decided waiting for other people to arrive was overrated and getting some coffee was much more imperative. Rolling their eyes at each other, they walked inside the establishment and quickly joined the two men.

“Ehm… alright, I couldn’t! I love my kilt-man, can’t live without him!”

“What’s so funny? Who can’t you live without?”

Tatiana turned around. “Not who, what I can’t live without. Your kilt. Will you bring it along to our special weekend, gorgeous?” She placed her arms around her boyfriend’s waist.

“Haha. Very funny.” Alex locked his lips with his girlfriend’s. “And yes, I will.” He said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Teresa gazed longingly at the snogging couple. Sala. Alex was there with Sala. She greeted the guys absentmindedly through the polite part of her brain that made her mother proud. The most rebellious part of her ill-controlled brain couldn’t help but dwell on imagining what would happen had Alex been there with Orlando instead. Maybe her thoughts were just too full of Orlando at the moment to be entirely healthy. She blamed Tatiana for suggesting that she invited him over and cooked him dinner that very night. She blamed Alex for planning something that caused her to be home alone. Above all, she blamed Orlando for accepting her damn invitation. Or maybe she loved him for it. She wasn’t quite sure. It was a close call. Her soap-opera flooded brain played tricks on her again as it created a scenario where a lovesick Lando swept her in his arms as she ran to him in slow motion. God, how old was she? She was nurturing the fantasies of a fourteen year old. How ridiculous was that? And what was the problem anyway? She would see him soon enough, as she had wanted. They’d be alone, as she had been secretly longing for. Was she that pathetically desperate that she couldn’t even wait?

“Oh!” Alex suddenly perked up, as if remembering something. “I brought those pamphlet-thingies showing the hotel we’ll be staying at!”

“Good.” Tatiana took the brochures from her boyfriend. “I want to see what I’ve agreed to.”

“Besides a couple of nights of unimaginable pleasure?” Alex said.

“You’re not half as funny as you think you are, mister.” Tatiana scolded him but smiled despite herself.

Teresa leaned over towards her friend in order to peek the brochures. “This place seems great! Did someone recommend it to you?”

“Billy did.” Alex promptly replied.

“Had to be my beloved Lily! He knows where the romance is!” Teresa stated, mischievously, winking at the others.

“He said he’d do nasty things to you if you called him that again,” said Alex.

The image of a furious, ranting Billy was enough to make everyone laugh. As they sipped their drinks silently for a moment, Alex decided to tease.

“So, Teresa… missed anyone in particular this week?”

“Ehm… well… I…”

“Course she did!” Tatiana said as if it was the most obvious fact in the whole world and all that were unaware of it were ignorants of their own choice.

“Yeah, we all heard about the phone calls.” Sala said. “Sometimes I thanked heavens for the poor hearing those prosthetics left me with! Lando would just not shut up!”

They all chuckled; they knew all too well how Orlando could be a terrible babbler.

“Seriously though” The big Kiwi went on. “I reckon he missed you even more than he showed. And that’s a lot, trust me.”

Alex nodded and looked at Tatiana with a love-bird sparkle in his eyes.
“If I had to be away from my sweet, I’d die of loneliness.”

“What are you trying to get with compliments?”

“Sex.”

“You’re not getting any.”

“Pretty please?”

“Why do I put up with you?”

“’Cause you love me?”

“Nope… has to be something else…”

The laughter brought forth by the couple’s antics resonated throughout Fidel’s making a few of the other customers look their way.

“I’m looking forward to this weekend. If anything, I’ll get to enjoy some peace and quiet.” Teresa mock-sighed.

“No you won’t! You’ll be humping Elves by then!” Tatiana teased her, good-naturedly.

The other girl helplessly blushed a deep shade of crimson as she playfully swapped her friend’s arm, giggling, and “Shut up!” was the wittiest thing she could think of as a reply. It had been a week since she had accepted Orlando’s apologies with a kiss. They hadn’t seen each other since. But the Orlando-deprivation her eyes had been subjected to was coming to an end that very night. She wasn’t entirely sure how that made her feel. Giddy. Delirious. Nervous. Terrified. All of the above and then none of the above. She hoped everything would go according to plan. And she wished she could devise a plan.

~*~

A week ago, the day after the incident that had taken place right there at the Café, in the morning, she had watched in growing dread as Dom made his way into Fidel’s and walk towards her with a purpose. For a split second, she thought of pretending to have urgent business to deal with in the kitchen, but she didn’t feel like leaving, she needed to think and face him sooner rather than later. He wouldn’t stop trying until he spoke to her, anyway. Her eyes were glued to the TV screen, not really absorbing any of the images it presented. Some sort of documentary on the lives of snakes was on. Soon Teresa was staring into a pair of shiny blue eyes. Dom had just stopped right in front of her, the counter the only thing separating them and, even so, not by long as Dom was leaning a bit across it. He bore a humble attitude but all of his self-assurance still sparkled in the depths of the azure orbs.

“Hey…” He seemed to be testing the ground he was walking on. Nevertheless, she kept true to her non-speaking policy. He certainly didn’t deserve an answer. He didn’t even seem half as sorry as she thought he should have been. She had to admit Orlando was suffering, he was an actor but even the best performance couldn’t have faked the hurt she saw in him with the briefest glance on that dreadful car ride back to her place. But the hurt that consumed both him and her didn’t affect Dom. At least not in the same way.

“Guess you know why I’m here aye?” Still the only reply he got were the narrator’s fascinating explanations on the purposes of colour as camouflage for snakes. Even the customers seemed to have silenced, though Teresa knew it was but a coincidence. Dom had never been one to give up easily, though. He was too close now. He spoke again.

“I acted like a real idiot yesterday”. Teresa sighed inwardly thinking she was in for more of the same. Dom lowered himself slightly over the counter so he could look up straight into her eyes, making himself appear more humbly pliant. He had a whole theatrical approach instinctively designed in his mind. “I know what I did was foolish and I have no excuse whatsoever to justify my behaviour. But that couldn’t stop me needing your forgiveness. I can’t be like this, believing you hate me now.” His words stirred no reaction from her. The wind whistled through the window making its strong presence known, demanding a look to the outside. “I’m here to beg, Teresa. You do things to me. Things that are unfamiliar. That make me act in ways strange even to myself. There’s something in you able to control me. All I know is, I’ve never felt like this before.” Her eyes kept staring lazily at the screen as she heard the cliché and her lips remained sealed as the colours coming from the TV shone in a pale reflection in her eyes.

“So… am I forgiven? Is there a chance? I need to know Teresa… Please… Say something… Anything… Just don’t make me feel as if I have no reason for existence…” She sighed and turned her head to look at him. It was a cold lifeless stare that gave away nothing of the turmoil inside her. She couldn’t let him think his apology was well received. It wasn’t. Looking back on what had happened, it was only logical to have come to the conclusion that he was the one to blame. Even though both Dom and Orlando had said things that hurt her, the one facing her then had started the whole scene.

“You’re overreacting Dom. I’m just hurt; the world won’t end for you. I’ll think about forgiving you, don’t worry about that. You can go now.” Her tone was almost professional such was the lack of emotion in it. And for all his blindness, Dom understood he was basically being kicked out of there.

He would get no more out of her that day. But that was certainly not the end. Even though he deflated somewhat, he still walked out of Fidel’s as if he was determined to go down in a blaze of glory! As for Teresa, she was sure Dom wouldn’t just leave it at that, however she truly hoped he would soon give up on her. Her heart was taken but he seemed to refuse to see it. He was in denial. She couldn’t be his; but he wouldn’t face that simple painful truth.

~*~

A week ago, by lunch time, Teresa had come out of the kitchen, where she had been lending a hand, to find Viggo sitting at one of the tables. It wasn’t a surprise to see him. After the first visit, pretty much everyone Billy and Alex had taken to Fidel’s and a few others had gradually become regular customers. The surprise was him waving her over.

He had been pleasant and polite and entertaining, as he always was, in a typical “I have just casually dropped by for some coffee” manner. When he asked her to seat with him for a bit though, she was surprised. That was a first. Suddenly she had the nagging suspicion that this particular visit had been deliberately set to have a few minutes with her alone. He was relatively discreet but she’d been able to see through his mystery. He wanted to say or hear something from her. He had a magnetic quality to him, making him irresistible, making any of his requests undeniable. So Teresa found herself sitting in front of him, after announcing she was taking a five-minute break, two cups of tea in front of her, facing the blue of Viggo’s gaze ready to face his words. He smiled gently. He wanted to talk. He required no answers from her, only her full attention.

“Although Orli’s 22, he’s still a child in so many ways. I love him for it but I also fear for him for it. You know this, you feel it. His optimistic view of the world, his energy, his joy, his dreams are all rather naïve. His love is childlike as well. He gives it on a silver platter, no questions asked. His love is true and unconditional but it’s also deep and whole. You can expect all the qualities of adult love wrapped in the beauty of innocence. He hurts as we speak. Above everything, he’s scared. He wears a mask of self-assurance as a shield to hide his fear, protect his sensitivity. Don’t be fooled by his presumptuousness. I’m not saying you have no reasons; you have every right to be angry and hurt as well. You’re both young and impulsive. You live for emotions with no consideration for the future. This is the truth, not criticism. I’m not here to lecture you or tell you what to do. It’s not my place. All I ask of you is that you think ahead.“

It was clear then he was there for Orlando’s sake. He seemed to even have gone through the trouble of preparing a speech in his head and, having said it, he quietly rose from his seat, said goodbye and left her to her thoughts in a heavy silence that existed only around her, like an isolating bubble, his words still echoing in her mind.

~*~

Then finally, a week ago, by tea time, near the end of her shift, Orlando showed up. It would be a lie to say she wasn’t hoping he would. She was. She had been hurt by his words but it all had passed fairly quickly and now, more than anything, she wanted to forgive him. Only pride stood in the way. She needed to know he had missed her as much as she had missed him. As she looked up, acknowledging his presence, she quietly turned her back to him shifting her stare from the wall to the window, contemplating a grey sky suffocated in dark clouds. He seemed uncertain as to how to respond to her reaction but breathing deeply he gathered up his courage and walked to her. He looked terrible, clearly experiencing the effects of a night with no sleep and many tormented thoughts. He stopped at the counter, now behind her, keeping himself from reaching out to her, and spoke in the softest of voices. A mere heavy whisper loaded with the weight of a thousand emotions.

“I’m so sorry…” He received no reply. But he would not give up so he forced himself to keep talking. “I… ehm… the things I said yesterday… I’m sorry if they hurt you… You have to understand… They came out in the heat of the moment… I didn’t really mean them…” He released a sigh, frustrated by the lack of response. She didn’t even move as he spoke. “I’m just so sorry… To see you… like this… it breaks my heart and I just want to strangle myself for being the cause for your pain… And I’m an idiot because… You mean something to me and… Can you forgive me? Or even consider it?” For the longest seconds they both stood still… Silence made the air inside the room hard to breathe. Eventually, Teresa moved making Orlando raise his head in startle. She turned around to speak to him. Her voice trembled in its frail assurance.

“I’ll consider it Lando… I just… don’t want to deal with this right now…” It was more than just an argument she had to deal with. The depth of her feelings made the threat to their future a frightening issue. She was afraid of losing him and her panic stopped from realizing she was the one taking that path… The path to lead her away from him. Such thoughts did not cross her mind at the moment. The hurt and the fear mingled inside her to lead her astray from considerations. “Can you please go now?”

Orlando’s eyes were hurting from the effort of holding the unmanly flow of tears that fought to break from him. However, there was nothing more he could do there. He would only upset her if he stayed against her will. He reluctantly stood up and prepared to leave with one last suffering glance. Then he hesitated.

Enough of all the childish nonsense of fearing a reaction. He was a man, right? He could stand up to a challenge. He could face Teresa again. Make things right. Beg her forgiveness. He would kneel… he would crawl if he had to! She had to forgive him, she just did. There was something between them, an unspoken invisible connection. She had to know.

They were so close to it. So close to acknowledging that what they felt was indeed real, that it was no illusion caused by a strange coffee germ. It was fast, scary but that didn’t make it any less true. He was falling in love… It was rash and probably naïve, but it was buried in the deepest, most sacred altar of his heart. Teresa would soon be there and the right words needed to be found to make her realise. To display before her eyes the endless possibilities of their feelings. He would try. If he failed he would crumble with no regrets.

“What good would it do to just walk away from here without knowing things are alright between us?” he said.

Teresa seemed speechless for a moment. Her firm resolve of a minute before crumbled visibly and she winced, instantly regretting her harsh words. She walked around the counter in order to stand right before him.

“I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… You don’t have to walk away without knowing my answer. I do forgive you, Lando. I already had, really. I was just being proud and stubborn as, annoyingly enough, I tend to be.”

“So… we’re alright…” He said, so tentatively Teresa wasn’t even sure if it was a statement or a question.

“Yes, we certainly are.” She smiled up at him and, after staring at the floor for a second in order to gather up her courage, she damned their audience to hell, snaked a hand around his neck and pulled him down, kissing him fiercely, if briefly.

He stared dazedly at her, obviously bewildered by her actions. “Yes… I think I can see that.”

“Call me?”

“I will. I definetly will. I mean… it’s a busy week I don’t know when I’ll… but as soon as I can, I will!”

~*~

And call he had. And, fed by Tatiana’s advices (which she was now beginning to regard as being extremely dangerous) she had invited him over to her place for a quiet dinner claiming all she really wanted to do on a Friday night was relax a bit. Of course, being alone with Orlando with all the privacy in the world at her disposal could never allow her to relax. Quite the opposite. She now questioned her sanity.

She shivered in fear and delight. And she could worry and fret all she wanted. Only the night in question held the secrets to a future by the side of one Orlando Bloom.

tbc... Next Chapter...

The Goings-on

nokasslash@gmail.com — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 19:53:30 GMT

Although I'd like to think I've been living for HP for the past month, that is, sadly, not necessarily true (although it is true as far as my spare time is concerned =P).

I've finally graduated from college! Woo-hoo!! It's weird to think it's all over. The past 4 years still feel like a blur in my head, it went by so fast. Looking back, I can see I grew a lot and I've been fortunate enough to make great friends. ♥ All this and a diploma have to make me feel a little bit lucky, at least. ;D

I've now Officially Requested my diploma as well (they don't just give it to you, there's this whole stupid concept of every graduating student actually having to request it and pay for it, too).

I have a new cousin, too! My baby cousin was born last night at 21h25m! His name's Gonçalo Filipe. These are tense times among my family but I think the birth of a child is always a joyful event no matter what's happening in the family at the time. For a few days, everything else will be forgotten. So, welcome to life little Gonçalo! May it be happy and filled with love.

Other than that I haven't really been doing much. Sending a few CVs and stuff. Preparing to enter the Adult World per se. =P Now it's sort of an intermezzo in my life, I think. The end of an era and the beginning of a brand new fase. So, while I live through it, I've been enjoying some time with my family and being more fangirlish than ever. XD

I actually haven't read RPS in almost two months and since HP DH I've been craving H/D non-stop! I actually haven't read any other pairing! I'm obsessed! More than usual, I mean. =P

And cause yesterday was a special day:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY cecine!!!!

I know you won't be mad to see this here a day late cause we did chat more than once yesterday. XD

Cessie's been quite busy providing me with HORRIFYING visuals involving weird mechanics and kinks I'd rather not discuss at all! Suffices to say that she gave me enough material to feed my nightmares for a while. =P Still, I'm looking forward to that crack!fic hun! ;D

Fic: Ever Lasting Flame 6/11 PG-13 HET

nokasslash@gmail.com — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 19:51:37 GMT

Title: Ever Lasting Flame (6/11)
Author: Nokas
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/OFC
Disclaimer: Nope. Not true. Never happened. Even the OFC doesn't (really) belong to me.
Beta: None. All mistakes are my own. Do point them out if you spot them, please.
Summary: Filled with a need to change, Teresa decides to start her life over in New Zealand. A massive Hollywood production and a one of its actors conspire to make her feel alive once more. (A/N: very crappy summary, I know).

The first month of a new millennium was alive and kicking as it reached its middle with the sound of two female voices shaking doors and windows somewhere in Wellington.

“Teresa, you need to do something about this.”

“Why do you keep insisting on this? Why do you want me to suffer?”

“I don’t want you to suffer!”

“Then why do you want me to relive what I’ve been through?”

“Please, don’t be silly! If you don’t face it, it won’t resolve itself.”

“You don’t understand me!”

“You know what Teresa? No, I don’t! I don’t understand a lot about you! About why you’ve been refusing anything resembling a social life just for lack of news of a guy you kissed two or three times! And why you can’t accept that your sorry excuse of ex-boyfriend’s trying to get back in touch!”

“No Tatiana! Please, stop. It’s difficult, okay? I mean, Ricardo didn’t use to be such a prick. And now it seems as if he’s forcefully trying to contact me so excuse me if I’m a little freaked out here!!”

“I’m just asking you to do something! Tell your mother to stop encouraging him or something! Before he does something worst!”

“And how do you know he’ll do something worst? You don’t know.”

“Stop being such a coward! Keep your chin up!”

“You’re being paranoid! And I’m not being a coward!! I’m avoiding pain!”

“No, you’re being a coward! There’s no pain here!”

“What do you know about it?”

“Shut up Teresa!! You know damn well I know a lot about it!”

“Whatever! I won’t stand here and listen to you telling me what I should do”

“Apparently, you don’t know what to do! You’re acting like a four year old, sitting in a corner, sulking!”

“I won’t listen to this!”

“Teresa, be reasonable!!”

“I’m going out!!”

“Fine then!!”

“Fine!!”

The door slammed making the walls tremble. Tatiana sat down on the couch with her head on her hands. Treacherous tears fell down her face. Why was Teresa in such denial? Tatiana had gone along with it for the first couple of days. But enough was enough. It was more than time for Teresa to realise the irrationality of her actions. And if Tatiana had to risk open war with her to open her eyes, then so it would be. She was her best friend and that was what her heart cried out for her to do. She would not stand still and watch her friend close herself inside a cocoon of fake security. It could only bring her more disappointment in the future.

Teresa went down the stairs and down the street with large angry steps. She hated her. She hated Tatiana. She hated her for knowing her so well. She hated her for understanding her at all times. She hated her for taking care of her. But in the end, she hated herself for not being able of hating her friend. Perhaps in the deepest corner of her mind she knew of her wrongness. However, she would not face the dark possibilities rising in her mind. Around her everything converged into a mingle of undistinguishable colours. She was randomly walking through the streets, letting her feet take her anywhere they pleased. People came and went in all directions, involving her figure. Their faces were all unfamiliar; her mind did not absorb them. Anonymous faces in an anonymous crowd surrounding a creature alive through regret. She should not have channelled all her fears and frustrations through an argument with her best of friends. Tatiana didn’t deserve it. As always, she sought only to give her comfort and counsel. Her hostility towards her was unforgivable. How could she live with herself? Guilt took hold of her soul. Her feet came to a halt. Her conscience, temporarily lost beyond the cloudy sky, dived back to reality. She was now in downtown Wellington. How long had she walked? Clearly at least half an hour. Was she that lost in deep thought? Shaking her head to dispel troubling thoughts, she decided to distract herself the traditional girly way: window-shopping. It wasn’t long before she found a shop worth entering, attracted by the vast selection of t-shirts and blouses displayed.

~*~

That same day, Orlando had found himself in need to think. So he did what he always did when in need to ponder one issue or another: he went shopping. Surely not a very butch way to do it, but it did the trick. He distracted himself with ill-conceived attempts to conceal himself amidst shirts and trousers. After finally gathering up the courage to confront Dom (the Brit’s attitude hadn’t changed over the holidays, he had come back as irritating as when he’d left), he just wasn’t able to get their argument out of his head. He could still hear their words.

“So what are you saying? That this whole attitude you’ve been having towards me is just because of a girl?”

“No! Can’t you understand? She’s not a girl, she’s the girl!!”

“I think you’re out of your mind.”

“Why? You think she can’t prefer me over you?”

“That’s no what I’m saying Dom…”

“What are you saying then?”

“I’m saying you’re acting like a psycho! You’re all pissed off because I had coffee with a girl neither of us dates! That doesn’t make any sense! ”

“It makes perfect sense! I want her!”

“The question is: does she want you?”

“I won’t lose her!!”

“You can’t lose what you never had!”

“F--- you Orli!! You know nothing about my feelings!”

“I was under the impression we were mates!”

“Not anymore! No while we both want the same!”

“Who said we both want the same?”

“You think I don’t know? I heard Viggo ask you if you had decided what to do about “the Portuguese who got your heart”!”

“It’s true that Teresa is special but…”

“What do you think? You think you can have any girl you want? With that perfect little face of yours? Not her!!”

“Who the f--- do you think you are Dom? You can’t lay claim over a person!”

“Teresa’s mine! Don’t even try to stop me!”

“Not even trying!”

“Know what? I’m outta here!”

“I’m not letting you hurt her with your insanity Dom!”

“F--- you Elf-boy!!”

And so Dom had walked away. His insanity when it came to this subject was clear to Orlando. Insanity… Teresa appeared to have the power to awake that in some men. But he would not let this incident stir his conviction. Before the confrontation with his now ex-mate, the Brit had already decided he would not waste any more time. Having to leave when he did had already been difficult enough.

Feeling slightly angry and flustered by the mere recollections, the customer he was heading to was not noticed. Thus, when he bumped into someone, the startle nearly made him jump out of his skin. However, it was not until he turned around to face said customer that his chin dropped to hit the floor. He mentally reviewed all the steps taken throughout the day. Nope, no black cat had crossed his way. And he hadn’t passed under any ladder. So why was all this landing on him? Wasn’t it enough for one day? He woke up to hear his mother scold him over the phone because he’d been brooding all the time at home and now he should be enjoying what was supposed to be the time of his life. He had gotten into a terrible and unwanted argument with his former best friend. And now, as if all that wasn’t enough, the worst had happened. He had bumped into Teresa. He was dressed like a slob, wearing no cologne and had forgotten to brush after lunch. Great.

~*~

Teresa looked at the young man before her from head to toe, and then from toe to head trying to come to a conclusion on whether or not he was real. When she convinced herself of his reality, her head rose, allowing her brown-greenish eyes to meet his chocolate ones. Instantly, her eyes dropped back to look at the floor as if overwhelmed by the intensity of his. Her cheeks once more gained that ripe tomato shade. He was smiling at her. Smile number 16, she mentally noted. Well of course he was! He was probably going to burst out laughing at her any second now! That canary yellow blouse had not been the best item to try on at all. One second, two seconds, three seconds… Why wasn’t he laughing yet?

“Hi!”

Wait a second. He was greeting her?

“Hi…”

“Are you alright? You seem kind of nervous.”

“Me? No…”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just… just…”

“Just?”

“Startled, that’s all. And embarrassed.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling”

He was being sympathetic now? When was he planning on starting to laugh out loud in her face and tell her what an idiot she was? An idiot for expecting anything from him and for even trying on that sickening blouse! She couldn’t prevent the expression of her disbelief. Oh my God! What was she doing? She was making matters worst!! Every time she was in front of him she appeared to only be able to prove her stupidity. It was no use! She would merely humiliate herself further more, and that she definitely didn’t need.

“You do?”

“Definitely! The Hobbits are constantly trying to play jokes on me and Viggo’s favourite sport is either embarrassing me or making fun of me.”

She couldn’t focus on that shy smile of him! It turned her knees to jelly every time. Wasn’t he the one to blame here? He was the one who’d left without giving her a way to contact him and hadn’t called even once! Not even to wish her a Merry Christmas!

“I find that hard to imagine”

“Listen… about me not calling you…” he said, as if reading her mind.

Oh no! Here it was. She knew it. Now what? She should just play casual. Yes, that’s it. Act as if it didn’t bother her at all. Good plan. He continued speaking.

“I don’t know how upset you are about that but…” After a brief pause, he continued. “It wasn’t because I didn’t want to. I just… this is so stupid… I left my personal phonebook here in New Zealand. I couldn’t call anyone during the holidays. Some people called me instead but I only realized I hadn’t left you my home number when I wanted to call you so… I’m sorry.”

His words, spoken in such a confessional and simple way, soothed her. He was not an untouchable god but a real human who experienced the same things she did and made mistakes, same as she, though his body’s features seemed to have been carved by angels. This managed to somehow bring them closer.

“Well… I was upset. And I had half a mind to fly over to Canterbury, find you and spank you for it. But it wasn’t a very practical approach.”

He laughed. It was a Godsend melody composed for her ears only. She could spend an eternity listening to it, never getting tired. The shop assistant looked at them, trying to figure out if they were actually going to buy something or not. Orlando realised it and immediately rushed to the cashier to pay for a showy yellow, orange and green t-shirt he’d picked. Teresa took the opportunity to get rid of the blinding canary yellow blouse as fast as she could and managed to get back to his side as he grabbed his bag.

“Listen, would you like to… go get a cup of coffee or something?” Orlando asked.

“I…”

“We can’t keep chatting in the middle of a boutique”

“Ok, sure. Why not?”

“Great, I know this great place just down the street” he smiled at her and his eyes twinkled with mischief. She knew he meant Fidel’s.

Was this real? She discretely raised her hand to her arm and pinched herself. Ouch. Yes, she seemed to be awake and roaming in reality so it was not a dream. He was there but for once he was flesh and blood instead of made of the fragile matter that builds imagination. Nevertheless he was just as enticing and even mysterious, despite his apparent opening. No words were spoken as they made their way to Fidel’s. They sat down in one of the tables in the corner as he asked for two coffees. Surprising herself, Teresa was he one to break the comfortable silence that had lingered between them.

“This is a nice place.”

“Yeah, and the owners are great.” Teresa laughed along with Orlando at her own joke.

“So are the waitresses.” That shut her up and brought back a magenta colouring to her cheeks.

~*~

Dom was sick of it all. He was sick of being treated like a child. Sick of being patronized. Of being misunderstood. He tried to tell himself the other hobbits meant well by their actions but he just couldn’t take it anymore. They acted like he was some sort of psycho and refused to leave him on his own for more than ten minutes. It was as if he was a retard or something, unable to tell good from evil. They didn’t understand. They couldn’t understand.

His behaviour had changed dramatically since his path crossed hers. She was what he needed. And no one but him could understand. No… he wasn’t even sure of that. Perhaps not even he understood himself. Perhaps that’s what made him runaway, not able to take what he saw in his soul. No! He couldn’t follow this trail! He did know! He understood what was going on inside him! He did! He really did! Of course he did!!

Elijah claimed he was becoming increasingly dangerous. Astin warned him not to give in to the threat of obsessive behaviour that hung over him. And Billy… Billy was the worst of them. Billy was his best friend, the one that could see past his defensive barriers and enter his soul with the piercing blue of his eyes. And yet, even he could not see that which mattered most. Hopefully he never would. He wanted Billy away from him. He could no longer stand the sound of his concerned voice. His friendly gestures made him tremble in rage. And the passiveness, with which Billy took all of his aggressiveness, channelling it, making it disappear after a primary outburst, frustrated him. He tried to isolate himself but such was not allowed to by his friends. He began to acknowledge that they feared him. His reactions. His thoughts. His emotions. They were guarding him, afraid he would explode at any minute. But he would not be a little sheep, guided around. He was suffocating. Dom actually did manage to sneak past them a couple of times, but mostly he was just dragged around in allegedly fun times with his so called friends. Damn hobbits!

Billy had called that morning to check on him. However, as it was his habit these days, Dom refused to pick up. Sitting on the couch like a statue, listening to nothing but the ringing of it time and time again until the person on the other side finally gave up. Not Billy. He didn’t want to talk to him. Billy knew too much and too little. It was dangerous to talk to him.

And that afternoon, when Elijah showed up at his door in his day off with his million dollars I’m-so-cute-give-me-everything-I-want-smile on his face, he felt deep inside him that it could not end good, it could only end in tears. Elijah’s great idea consisted of dragging him to Fidel’s, after having checked with Alex that it was Teresa’s day off, for a nice long guy-chat.

As he had predicted, things started going wrong upon arrival. Sitting in one of the more secluded tables of the Café were none other than Orlando and Teresa. They were laughing and having fun. Dom couldn’t even remember the last time he had done that with all his heart. When he had met Teresa she warmed his heart and that was the sign he was longing for. He now yearned for her. And yet, there she was with pointy-eared Elf-boy. Mr. I’m-so-cute-and-swift-with-all-my-weaponry! How he hated him! Dom wondered if the greenness in him was visible from the outside. He definitely felt green, completely filled with jealousy. He was the one supposed to be there, not long-legged Orlando! Nevertheless, even an angered Dom had to reluctantly see the way they seemed to fit jointly. It was plain for everyone to see, the obviousness of it almost shocking. Dom tried to fight away the feeling that a new tale had begun.

Seeing his friend staring at some unknown spot in one of the corners, Elijah moved towards Dom following his gaze and trembling at the sight of the last two people he wanted to see there. Elijah saw Dom’s face turn a dangerous shade of red. The kind of red that came before an explosion. Sure enough, before the American had reached the end of his line of thought, Dom was already speeding through the Café. At the speed of light, he got next to Orlando and violently yanked him by his sweater, forcing him to stand. As a dazzled pair of brown eyes stared at him, he set his instincts free and allowed his fist to travel to Orlando’s left cheek, making the other man fall back, a bewildered look printed in his face for a split second before he got back on his feet swaying and returned the favour to Dom’s left cheek.

“Dom, what the f***?!”

“What the f*** do you think you’re doing?!”

“What??”

“Getting all over her like that! What do you think you’re doing?!”

“You’re delusional!”

“Come on! You’re like a dog on heat! What do you think?! That she’s your b*tch?!”

That was too much for Orlando. The pure fury in his beautiful complexion would make a warrior shake. He launched himself against the blonde Brit and didn’t carry his violent intentions on only because he was caught in midair by Billy and Elijah who had hurried to them, along with Astin who now strongly held on to Dom, at the sight of their physical aggressions. The look of shock on their faces was indescribable; they seemed lost, unable to accept what was happening in front of them. And though they were powerfully keeping the two men apart, their eyes were distant as if they were standing in another reality altogether, or inside a nightmare that they were expecting to end.

~*~

Teresa was paralyzed being a spectator of the events in front of her, trying to understand it. Her mind refused to give her any answers and she blanked completely. She did not think or feel, she merely saw and heard. She saw and feared the rage in their eyes as blue met brown fiercely. She saw them being separated as the others came rushing in. But she did not react, nor move, nor blink; she would not have breathed if she could survive it.

They were now slightly calmer but they had to be careful or those two would try to hurt each other once more. Elijah decided to act as a pacifist and start a civilized dialogue between them.

“Ok you guys, let’s talk now, ok? Like civilized adults and not hot tempered beasts, alright?”

Everyone seemed to fully agree with his words, much to his satisfaction, despite the fact that Dom and Orlando did so reluctantly. It would have to do since it achieved his objective and got them talking. Orlando started first, he was still having trouble accepting that his mate, or ex-mate, even after their argument that morning, would punch him for no apparent reason and he wanted to sort everything out as soon as possible hoping it was all one big misunderstanding and that one day they would laugh together telling that story. His voice was tranquil and even sweet as he spoke.

“Dom… what happened?”

The others stayed in watchful silence. But Orlando got no answer to his question. He still remained serene and insisted.

“Dom… why did you attack me all of a sudden? What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing.”

Dom seemed to consider the question a bit further before he finally replied. The look in his eyes changed and there was an almost frightening calmness to his figure, deeply contrasting with how he had been only a moment before. He now appeared cold and calculating. A side of him Orlando had never seen and never knew existed.

“I was the one supposed to be there with her! Not you! What does she see in you anyway? You’re not better than me!”

“No one’s saying that!”

“You are! All the time! With those attempts at perfection you do every f***ing day! And we’re the ones who have to put up with Mr. I-do-everything-better!”

“What? I’m not gonna put up with any more this sh** Dom! Not from you!”

“She deserves so much better than you… wait until she sees the weak creature you truly are.”

"Jesus, man, what are you on?!"

“I want her, I need her, I long for her!”

“But you won’t f***ing have her!!”

“And why the f*** is that?”

“I have her. And I won’t give her up.”

“Oh you have her? What for?? So you can add another f***ing name to your never ending list of f***s?!.”

“She wants me!!”

“She’s only blinded by your oh-so deceitful angel face!”

“Maybe she’s the only one who can see underneath it!”

“Bullsh**!! She doesn’t know the slut you really are!! You f*** everything that moves!!”

After the initial hurt caused on him by the sharpness of his friend’s words, Orlando now adapted himself to the same coldness in his tone and speech. Something akin to evil surfaced in him and he never knew he possessed the capability to endure such state of mind. Dom kept speaking. Their voices were rising louder and louder attracting the attention of everyone around them, creating a good number of spectators, the kind of human beings whose curiosity does not allow them to miss a good public display of any sort.

“If she could, she would run to my arms right now!!”

“You won’t f***ing have her Dom, start living with that!!”

“Maybe I’ll take her, right under your f***ing nose!!”

“Not if I can help it!”

“What if you can’t?!”

“Trust me, she’ll stay with me and she’ll love it!!.”

The before unresponsive Teresa found that she could not stand such a conversation to any further extent. How dared they? As if she had been burnt, she stood up and drew near them. Her eyes were blazing revealing the fury that now grew inside her. All gazes rested on her and everyone was silent as she spoke, her tone giving away entirely the hurt that had settled itself in her spirit.

“What am I? A piece of jewellery? A book? A doll? You’re talking about me as if I’m some sort of object! As if I had no free will, no feelings, no saying in my own God damn life!!”

Orlando felt her words like a stab from within.

“That’s not what we meant! It’s just… “

“Just what? You think I’m some sort of an excuse for competition?”

Again, Orlando made an attempt to present his explanation however he was quickly cut off.

“Teresa… listen…”

“No you listen! I’m not that pathetic! I thought you were different but clearly you’re not! I’ve learnt my lesson…”

Having said that, she tensely asked Orlando, in a whisper, if he could drive her home. They spent the entire drive bearing a heavy silence and didn’t even say goodbye, Teresa merely exiting the car without so much as a look back.

She felt shattered into a million pieces scattered across the universe. At that moment, she was nothing. She was an ensemble of human emotions. A being made of turmoil and pain. She wanted to lie down and sleep for endless hours. She wanted to hide and not care about the world anymore. Why was she feeling this way? So utterly devastated. Orlando was nothing to her. Not a friend, not a lover… Then why was she hurting so? She loved him. It lacked reason and understanding but she did. From the first time she saw him she knew she would love him. That was why everything he said and did affected her to such extremes.

Teresa entered the apartment slamming the door behind her and immediately heading for the bedroom without raising her eyes from the floor, failing to notice Tatiana and Alex snuggling in the couch with a popcorn bucket in the middle, watching TV. Tatiana lifted her head observing her friend with a startled serious expression. Worried, she searched for understanding in the warm blueness of her loved one’s eyes. She disentangled herself from the puzzle formed by their bodies and silently followed the other girl, a sting bothering her heart filled with concern. Cautiously she knocked on the closed door before opening it a bit and peeping inside.

“Teresa? Hun? …”

She wasn’t able to see her right away and frantically her eyes ran through the bedroom as she opened the door wider. And there she was. Sitting in a hidden corner with her arms around her knees. Her head down as quiet sobs shook her figure. She hated herself for her weakness.

“What happened?” Tatiana asked before the obvious hit her. Orlando. “Was it Orlando?”

A shaken voice overflowing with tears replied a low “Yes” and the urge to kill built inside Tatiana. What had he done? He could kiss his *** goodbye if he had hurt her in anyway. She would personally see to his slow painful and torturous death.

“Calm down honey. Just tell me everything ok?”

Teresa nodded. She breathed in and out deeply repeatedly to calm herself and slowly began to speak. She told of how Orlando had been wonderful. Of how much fun they had and the abrupt end of it when Dom and the others arrived. Of how Orlando and Dom had gotten into a fight as she watched paralysed by shock and the blinding speed of events. And finally, she told of their argument and how she was treated in it.

“I mean, how could they? They were talking about me like I was some sort of merchandise! A book or something they both wanted! I swear I wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d agreed to share me!!”

“So that’s what happened?” Tatiana smiled in relief which earned her a reprobatory look. But she couldn’t help it.

“And I told Orlando… that I thought he was different…”

“You actually said that? You said you thought he was different?”

Teresa nodded, uneasy with the other girl’s reaction. That only made her friend laugh softly.

“You’re pathetic! That is so cliché! How can you be my best friend? But don’t worry. That’s nothing we can’t fix hun!”

“How can you say that?!”

“Because it’s true. Look at me. Listen. You’re overreacting. I understand how you feel but take it easy.”

Teresa merely locked her sunk in misery eyes on her friend and remained silent.

“You should calm down.”

“Why should I?”

“So you can at least try to understand why they acted the way they did. I refuse to believe they’re both cruel bastards.”

“…”

“At least promise me you’ll listen if they come to explain.”

“…”

“Promise me Teresa.”

“Ok…”

“Good. Now get up you cry-baby! Everything will be fine, you’ll see. And if they don’t come crawling and begging your forgiveness, I’ll take care of them!”

“You will?”

“Yup, I’ll grab my sword and kick their asses all the way to China!”

This time they both laughed and Teresa fixed an adoring gaze on her friend. She was her rock, she made it all better, she was therapy. A weight was lifted from her shoulders.

tbc... Next Chapter...

Reviews Part 2 -- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

nokasslash@gmail.com — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 22:59:18 GMT

And now, after a huge OotP review, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Finished reading it on Sunday night. Some say it's the end of an era. I say this era is far from over. ;D Now for my two cents on it.

icon by horcru_x

"OMG! OMG! OMG! *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*!!" was the first thing that came to mind as I thought of what to write on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. What can I say that hasn't been said? Not much. Maybe nothing. But from chapter 1 this book buried itself deep in my heart so I have to say something. Know now this is only my opinion. I can't possibly write anything objective.

I was very scared of this book. That it would be a shattering disappointment. But now all I wonder is: what do I say? How do you start to describe something you loved? How can you do it justice?

I felt like I was breathing the book as I read it. Hadn't been so totally enthralled in a book for quite some time. When I finished it I just wanted to scream, let it all out. It was like it filled me completely and I'd explode if I didn't release it somehow.

As I was saying to Cessie the other day "I wanted it all to go out with a Bang and I can honestly say it went out with a KABOOM!"

When you truly love something, you love it unconditionally, you accept all its flaws.

That's how it is for me with this book. It's not perfect, except it is. So when thinking about how to structure all I had to say, I thought it best to do a crescendo of sorts, starting with my whining and ending with my ecstaticness.

SOME WHINING

I'll even start by the ending. The Epilogue. In one word, it was weird. On one hand it could be said it almost feels like a pat on the reader's head, saying "rest assure, Harry's life turned out alright". On the other hand, for those who prefer open endings, it ruined things a bit, and for those who'd rather know everything about Harry's future, it answered practically nothing. It's unsatisfying middle ground. Don't get me wrong, not all was bad. JKR, in her unique way, managed, in just a few pages, to show her character's future selves, different and yet the same. Ron's the best example of that. Draco's small "cameo" helped to endear the chapter to me. His nod of acknowledgement to his former enemies meant/could mean a lot. The couples were extremely predictable. I'll say nothing of Ron and Hermione cause I truly think they make a fabulous couple. But Harry and Ginny never truly sounded right to me. Every hero needs to get a girl, Ginny's just there to fill a role but it all just seems too meant-to-be. Also, what sort of names are Albus Severus and Scorpius? Merlin help us! Poor children! Shame on Harry and Draco! =P The final paragraph also fit, IMO, into the unsatisfying category.

The scar had not pained Harry in nineteen years. All was well.

To me, this is the Potter equivalent to happily ever after, which is something I never really liked. It always seemed too vague to me.

Second point on my whining: the Slytherins. I hoped for redemption but all I found was the confirmation of a prejudice present since book one. I call it the Slytherin Injustice. I'm partial to Slytherins, it's no secret. Basically what comes across is that all Slytherins are, essentially, evil. A basket full of rotten apples. There's plenty of evidence throughout the book. I took the liberty to gather up a few moments:

1. When Greyback captures the trio and Harry imediately tries to pass off as a Slytherin student.

'What house were you in at Hogwarts?'
'Slytherin,' said Harry automatically.
'Funny 'ow they all thinks we want to 'ear that,' jeered Scabior out of the shadows.

2. When the trio returns to Hogwarts and enters the Room of Requirement, where all the resistants have been hiding and Harry notices the tapestry hangings on the walls.

Harry saw the gold Gryffindor lion, emblazoned on scarlet; the black badger of Hufflepuff, set against yellow, and the bronze eagle of Ravenclaw, on blue. The silver and green of Slytherin alone were absent.

3. As the Heads of House prepare Hogwarts for battle, only Professor Slughorn, Head of Slytherin, seemes quite hesitant to join the efforts.

'My word,' he puffed, pale and sweaty, his walrus moustache aquiver. 'What a to-do! I'm not at all sure this is wise, Minerva. He is bound to find a way in, you know, and anyone who has tried to delay him will be in most grievous peril -'

4. As all students prepare to be evacuated, all Houses turn united against Slytherin.

Then a figure rose from the Slytherin table and he recognised Pansy Parkinson as she raised a shaking arm and screamed, 'But he's there! Potter's there! Someone grab him!'
Before Harry could speak there was a massive movement. The Gryffindors in front of him had risen and stood facing, not Harry, but the Slytherins. Then the Hufflepuffs stood, and, almost at the same moment, the Ravenclaws, all of them with their backs to Harry, all of them looking towards Pansy instead, and Harry, awestruck and overwhelmed, saw wands emerging everywhere

5. Not one Slytherin student stayed for the fight.

Slowly, the four tables emptied. The Slytherin table was completely deserted, but a number of older Ravenclaws remained seated while their fellows filled out: even more Hufflepuffs stayed behind and half of Gryffindor remained in their seats

6. Even after 19 years, the House of Slytherin's still considered essentially evil. The prejudice never faded. So much so that Harry's older son torments his younger brother simply by telling him he'll probably be sorted into Slytherin.

'I won't! I won't be in Slytherin!'

Now, we haven't forgotten that Harry was nearly placed in Slytherin. Is Harry evil then? I don't think so. Then why are we being constantly reminded that Slytherin has nothing more than evil people and cowards? Are all the people sorted into that House to be imediately put in a Hate List? Is Harry different just because he persuaded the Sorting Hat to place him in Gryffindor? With all the talk of a need for a union of the 4 Houses, I thought Slytherin would've had its moment on this final book. Sadly, I was wrong. It hurt. And even the wizard that made the House of Slytherin play its part, i.e. Severus Snape, hears from Dumbledore himself that perhaps the school sorted too son. This clearly implies he thought Snape shouldn't be in Slytherin. Why? Just because he wasn't 100% evil? Did the evilometer not go off when he passed by it? As you can see, this was the thing I most disliked about the book I loved.

Walking side by side with the Slytherin Injustice is my beloved Draco Malfoy, the subject of my third and final "complaint". My hopes were high for this character. As far as redemption goes, he was perfectly positioned to lead a change at the heart of Slytherin. However, despite the fact that IMO he deserved further developments after Half Blood Prince, all we get is Draco Malfoy as a strenghtless pawn. Even though I am quite aware that Draco has always been depicted as a character lacking bravery in every book, I can't help but think he's been mistreated in this final one. Every time he shows up seems to serve the mere purpose of pointing him out as weak, as a coward. For someone hoping the opposite it can be exasperating, all the emphasis is put on his cowardice, his complete lack of spine. I gathered some moments ~~again~~.

1. As early as the first chapter, Voldemort himself displays a taste for taunting poor Draco, who's quite busy being terrified (as he should). JKR goes through the trouble of making him stand out of the crowd. A tribute to his role on the previous book?

'What say you, Draco?' asked Voldemort, and though his voice was quiet, it carried clearly through the catcalls and jeers. 'Will you babysit the cubs?'
The hilarity mounted; Draco Malfoy looked in terror at his father, who was staring down at his own lap, then caught his mother's eye.

(...)

Charity fell, with a resounding crash, on to the table below, which trembled and creaked. Several of the Death Eaters leapt back in their chairs. Draco fell out of his on to the floor.

2. Draco's greatest moment in the final book. At Malfoy Manor he has a clear chance to denounce the trio to his father and aunt. In the closest thing to a redemption in the entire book, he doesn't tell on anyone, he acts confused. It irritated me a bit that, afterwards, no one looked back and thought he could've condemned everyone but he didn't. Instead, the fact that he continues being a helpless coward who gets his own wand stolen seems much more important. Maybe JKR intended it all to be a reflection of Draco as a spineless git. After all, he even gets taunted by his aunt.

'Well, Draco?' said Lucius Malfoy. He sounded avid. 'Is it? Is it Harry Potter?'
'I can't - I can't be sure,' said Draco. He was keeping his distance from Greyback and seemed as scared of looking at Harry as Harry was of looking at him.
'But look at him carefully, look! Come closer!'
(...)
Harry saw Draco's face up close, now, right beside his father's. They were extraordinarily alike, except that while his father looked beside himself with excitement, Draco's expression was full of reluctance, even fear.
'I don't know,' he said
(...)
'Draco, move this scum outside,' said Bellatrix, indicating the uncounscious men. 'If you haven't got the guts to finish them, then leave them in the courtyard for me.'

3. The Crabbe and Goyle rebellion. The two previously brainless bullies got a taste for power and don't want to be bossed around anymore, even though they're still not the sharpest tool in the shed. Draco can't even have that. He fell from grace.

'Potter came in here to get it,'said Malfoy with ill-disguised impatience at the slow-wittedness of his colleagues, 'so that must mean -'
'"Must mean"?' Crabbe turned on Malfoy with undisguised ferocity. 'Who cares what you think? I don't take your orders no more, Draco. You an' your dad are finished.'

Besides all this, Draco's a victim of injustice and a part in the battle against the Dark Lord is constantly denied to him. As he pleads with a Death Eater, claiming to be on their side, Draco gets punched by Ron who accuses him of being a "two-faced bastard". What else could he do being alone and wandless? I ask you! Also, even when he's recognized as the true master of the Elder Wand, Harry had conveniently overpowered him when taking his regular wand. Couldn't that have been a great opportunity for a Grand Redemption? Did he really have to be the spineless git all the time?

Another interesting thing to note is the part played by his parents. Lucius, who, surprisingly, survives the battle at Hogwarts (I totally thought he had it coming), turns from a cold hearted bastard to a concerned parent. And Narcissa keeps on being the loving mother who'd do anything for her son. True that created the background to Draco being a mama's boy the entire time, but it's that love that saves Harry (and, by extent, everyone else) in the end when Narcissa helps him for the sake of her son.

THE GOOD STUFF. PLENTY OF IT TO GO AROUND.

OK, enough complaining. Time to move on to all the good stuff. Which surpassed by far anything that might not have sat too well with me.

First of all, Harry Potter himself. Harry became the hero he was meant to be from book one. Personally, I find the concept of an incorruptible hero rather elusive but I suspect that, in order to keep true to the fairytale format she had begun with, JKR gave Harry as many flaws as she dared throughout the seven books, making them gradually thinner in this final book. However, although embodying the brave hero in an epic battle against evil, Harry's not without flaw.

When I think of all the books, I think of Harry being defined as a hero in the first three, which document his lack of ambition, his bravery, his selflessness and his mercy, and spends the next three suffering his adolescence under the terrible weight of his scar consequently revealing his less hero-worthy traits. Deathly Hallows tends to lean more towards the Chosen Hero approach with heartwarming moments like wanting to run away from the Burrow to avoid harming the others, the saving of a large group of people on chapter 13, finally crying and grieving for his parents

And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off, or pretending? He let them fall, his lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them.

as well as his willing sacrifice (damn those pages 560-561 for making me cry so bloody hard!!) and the fact that he returns from the dead simply because he could save more people and make things right that way. Still, there are plenty of moments when Harry's actions are not exactly honourable. The best example is his use of Unforgivable Curses, an act that was previously considered wrong by nature and now seems to serve the greater good. He still doesn't use Avada Kedavra even once but Crucio and Imperio make their appearance (the latter more than once). I take this as evidence of a war taking its toll on a 17 year-old boy. He does what he has to do and what he morally stood up for before doesn't always matter. There are other moments though, like Harry confronting Scrimgeour (I could feel his need to punch the Minister!), telling off Lupin in a way that had me actually gasping, his ruthlessness with Mundungus, the time he spends resenting Ron and Dumbledore, his near-fatal mistake of speaking Voldemort's name. It's like a delicate balance of a pseudo-dicotomy of good and evil that ends pending towards Hero-ness. I thought it was really good. Harry was meant to become the hero-at-heart so there was no avoiding that. His journey in this book is trully something to pull the reader into the story. And if we had any doubt he'd be more alone than ever at the end, even Hedwig is taken away from him from the start. Poor Hedwig. =(

Dumbledore was brilliant. After death his character gains new depth and suffers huge twists and turns. And if I already loved the sage elderly wizard, holding so much power and yet keeping a constant twinkle in his eyes, I absolutely worship the unveiled Dumbledore, the fallible wizard behind the myth and appearances. A Dumbledore who's ambitious, obsessive and almost coldly calculative. A Dumbledore who, IMO, is brought closer to the readers even if an illusion of infallibleness is shattered. He's one of the book's strongest points. Confessing rather than advising and a constant presence, albeit not in the physical sense. A lot of past events come back under a new light, the one that caused the most impression on me was

and it seemed to Harry now, despite the fact that his future was so dangerous and so uncertain, that he had missed irreplaceable opportunities when he had failed to ask Dumbledore more about himself, even though the only personal question he had ever asked his Headmaster was also the only one he suspected that Dumbledore had not answered honestly:
'What do you see when you look in the Mirror?'
'I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woollen socks.'

But even though he's so dismistified, in the end he still holds that wise playful magic that captured me at the beginning.

'Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?'

Help in the physical world came from a different Dumbledore, Albus's brother, Aberforth, a minor character I fell for from the moment he appeared. It was a surprising twist to see the Hog's Head play such an important part. Who knew? The place once thought of as dodgy and suspicious harbored many secrets and as I discovered it all I found myself reading more avidly. The unexpected is a powerful reading fuel, JKR seems to know this very well and use it in this case splendidly.

Another one of the book's strong points was the magnificent way in which the Trio interacted throughout it. I truly feel that, like Dumbledore, Ron and Hermione showed hidden depths in this book, Ron even more so. Ron actually WALKED AWAY from his two friends at the end of chapter 15, returning only on chapter 19. His absence served a grand entrance, he got to come back as a hero, saving Harry's life and destroying a Horcrux only to be faced with his own deepest fears in the process. If that isn't spectacular, I don't know what is. His character delighted me all the time, even when he was moody. He feels real all the time, ever loyal, ever brave, ever true, he hurts but keeps going, he leaves but comes back. Hermione could pretty much work as his opposite, not that she's not brave or loyal, but in the sense that she's much less fiery than him. For all the talk of Ron having the emotional range of a teaspoon she's almost too coldly pragmatic. She keeps a clear view of her objectives and does what needs to be done, no questions asked. The only moment when we see her composure break apart is when Ron leaves and she spends her nights crying. That's not enough to make her warmer, though. Not to me, anyway. However, I did love and squee over Ron and Hermione's kiss! I bet if Ron had known all it took to unleash Hermione's urge to kiss him was worry about House Elves, he would've done it much sooner. ;D Brilliant moment!

A character that nearly made me keel over in awe: Snape. Some of the most wonderful moments in the book derive from his story. I totally did not see any of it coming! Well, except the fact that it was Dumbledore himself who asked Snape to kill him. That bit I was kind of expecting. But the rest had me awed all the way. The tale of his love for Lily connected many dots I never knew could be connected. Now I know why Voldemort was willing to let her step aside after killing her husband and intending to murder her child. Now I know why Snape betrayed the Dark Lord, something that had always bothered me not knowing. The repetitive references to Lily's eyes gain a purpose as well at Snape's heartbreaking end.

'Look...at...me...' he whispered.
The green eyes found the black, but after a second something in the depths of the dark pair seemed to vanish, leaving them fixed, blank and empty. The hand holding Harry thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more.

To me, Snape's last "request" was meant for him to get one last glimpse of Lily's eyes and that's the most beautiful thing ever and it made me sob! His death scene was my favourite bit in the entire book! Even though my heart was ground to dust.

A presence filled with awesomeness: Neville Longbottom. At long last the shy klutzy boy gets to prove his valour and we discover why he belonged in Gryffindor all along! Leader of a students rebellion, enduring punishments, forced into hiding, wielder of the Sword of Gryffindor. As far as hidden depths go, Neville seems to be a bottomless pit! He was beat up love! ;D When JKR presents us with minor characters this good, respect is to be shown!

The Weasleys (here with the exception of Ron) were, generally speaking, a permanent warming presence through the entire book. It's almost as if the family sewed itself to the story. From Harry's removal from Privet Drive, to Bill's wedding, to Fred's participation in an outlaw broadcast, the Weasleys are always there. Some bits have more impact than others, though. Fred's death came as a shock. The twins had always been part of my favourite things about the Harry Potter books and they ended up forever broken. Mrs. Weasley's big moment was a revellation, her duel with Bellatrix was amazing! She showed what she was made of and Bellatrix learned not to mess with a grieving protective mother. And there were insults! :O It was so, so good! The weakest link in the Weasley clan seems to be, surprisingly, Ginny. Her presence appears to be merely decorative. A girl for Harry to think about while he's away from Hogwarts. She didn't even get to fight in the final battle! After HBP I expected her to rise to the occasion and show her strenght, but the exact opposite happened. It was a bit strange.

House Elves were an important presence in this book, as they had been in previous ones. Dobby's role as Harry Potter's saviour is restored and if someone reading his death scene didn't at least have tears in his/her eyes, that person's not human! It felt like a gratuitous killing and there lies the secret to its impact. War takes those we least expect. Poor Dobby gave his life to save the boy who gifted him with freedom. That boy grieved him and dug him a grave with his bare hands. If that's not heartbreakingly sad, I don't know what is! Kreacher's redemption turned him into a new Dobby. Considering that house elves have always been described as beings existing to serve their masters (despite any outraged protests from Hermione), it could be said that Kreacher gains a new purpose in life. Either that or he's just a whore for Regulus's jewellery. ;D Harry gets used to having a servant really fast but that fact's totally obscured by the most amazing fact that is a well humoured Kreacher! But the most incredible scene, needs no comment:

The house-elves of Hogwarts swarmed into the Entrance Hall, screaming and waving carving knives and cleavers, and at their head, the locket of Regulus Black bouncing on his chest, was Kreacher, his bullfrog's voice audible even above this din: 'Fight! Fight! Fight for my master, defender of house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord in the name of brave Regulus! Fight!'

Like several others, Dudley and Petunia Dursley revealed themselves under new light on this book. My heart went to Dudley as he struggled with the concept of leaving Harry behind. Despite everything he'd done, Harry was still family in his mind. It's just one of those things that seem designed to make you go "aaaaaaaaawwww". And we finally discover where Petunia's dislike for all things magical comes from. Her bitterness comes from the fact she had to let her sister go, she had to let herself be parted from the person she loved the most. For a second, one can almost forgive her awful treatment of Harry. Almost. Both cases certainly apply to JKR's extraordinary gallery of minor characters. Hagrid's one more. Just when you think you can't love him anymore, Hagrid becomes even dearer to my heart. ♥ Bless him and his unconditional love for Harry. This gallery is enriched by even more characters like: Xenophilius Lovegood, so similar to his daughter that one can't help but like him and, strangely enough, a reliable sorce of information for a while (as well as Rita Skeeter! The shock! :O). Elphias Doge, buried in tragic misconception. Aunt Muriel, cause who doesn't have a nasty great-aunt that loves gossip and speaking ill of people? And Bathilda Bagshot, who I'm not sure should be seen as a character per se but who became the vehicle for the ickiest scene in the book (that I can't wait to see put on film!) and showed up in Godric's Hollow just when, after being sure something bad would happen there, I was beginning to think it had turned out alright after all.

Several events from the past come back when we least expect them and act, as I see it, as a sort of reward for all those who closely followed the books. Things many of us had dismissed as unimportant or taken for granted gain new purpose. Things like the Deluminator, Sirius's mirror, the Hog's Head, Harry's Invisibility Cloak. It's awe-inspiring to see things that had been there for a long time be different. Kudos to JKR for pulling that off brilliantly.

The Horcruxes were another great component of this book. We all knew they'd be very significant on this final book but it's strange to notice that, with the exception of the Diary of Tom Riddle, which he destroyed on his second year having no idea what a Horcrux was, Harry Potter didn't destroy any other Horcrux. Dumbledore had already destroyed Marvolo's ring. The locket was destroyed by Ron (and who else thought its effect on its bearer was kind of similar to the One Ring?). Hermione took care of the Hufflepuff Cup. Ravenclaw's diadem was inadvertedly destroyed by none other than Crabbe. Nagini met its death via Sword of Gryffindor in Neville's hands. And even the seventh Horcrux, Harry himself, even though he willingly walked to his own death, was ultimately destroyed by none other than Voldemort himself. Everyone got a piece of Horcrux to vanquish, it seems. That was a very interesting approach and a much better way to do it than simply having the Trio destroy all the Horcruxes as was their mission.

About Voldemort, there isn't much to say except he got what was coming to him. Harry had to take a short detour to do it, but The Boy Who Lived succeeded. Voldemort was totally OWNED by teenagers and he clearly forgot to read the Evil Overlord List. Seeing his shrivelled squealing soul was a bit disturbing but no more than what should be expected from one who refused love. The whole war was clearly based on World War II and was there ever an enemy more people wanted to take down than Adolf Hitler? It's fitting that a war for freedom should arise against Voldemort. Persecution, death, cruelty, destruction. And in the end he was blinded by his own ascension to what would destroy him. Wonderfully poetic, isn't it?

And speaking of poetic, to end all my ravings, the Deathly Hallows brought a deeper meaning than I expected and the most tear-inducing scene ever! The Marauders once again reunited to give Harry the strenght he needed to walk to his own death! Peter Pettigrew was absent, for obvious reasons, but even he came to a poetic end. Quite ironic that his death should come from a moment of hesitation remembering the mercy shown to him. But having those most dear to Harry accompany him and give him courage is something one can only appreciate when reading it all. There are no words that can describe how deep that scene can touch. ♥

'You are nearly there,' said James. 'Very close. We are... so proud of you.'
'Does it hurt?'
The childish question had fallen from Harry's lips before he could stop it.
'Dying? Not at all,' said Sirius. 'Quicker and easier than falling asleep.'
'And he will want it to be quick. He wants it over,' said Lupin.
'I didn't want you to die,' Harry said. These words came without his volition. 'Any of you. I'm sorry -'

Thinking it's over now is more heartbreaking than anything else. I wonder if that or the contents of the book are causing this general Crying Out Of Nowhere Syndrome that seems to be going around. Nevertheless, it's been a spectacular ride (even if I was a late comer) and the magic Harry Potter brought me is something that doesn't happen very often, something I shall treasure at least for a very long time, perhaps all my life. I feel like I grew and learned with Harry. When you find something special, it's not that easy to erase it. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

My HP reviews! Finally! Part 1 -- OotP Movie

nokasslash@gmail.com — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 14:48:38 GMT

Hey everyone! I'm very happy to say my Harry Potter month (aka the Month) has been lived to the fullest. But, alas, all good things must come to an end and now that this most special of months is almost over, I thought I'd finally post my reviews of both movie and book.

On the first screening of the opening day (i.e. lunchtime of the 12th) there I was, ready to fangirl a new HP movie in very pleasant company. Who better to accompany a giggly HP-addict than two more of the same kind? I confess I felt a tad nervous and didn't eknow exactly what to expect but, in the end, I had absolutely no reasons to fret, the movie was INCREDIBLE. To me, the best of all 5. Which is why I didn't mind watching it again the day before yesterday! Go me!

Time flew by as I watched this film. It's a bit depressing that they cut so much stuff (this was the shortest of all 5 films coming out of the longest of 7 books!) but the screenplay was IMO actually very good and amazed me by the amount of scenes and lines straight out of the book. This movie had my heart beating faster and a stupid grin plastered on my face. All those who know me know I'd never say that lightly. It's the highest compliment I can give movie-wise. Surely, my opinion is biased ( I am a Potterholic afterall) so I'm not talking masterpiece of film-making here. =P

I wasn't exactly sure what to write, so I thought I'd just cover some topics. =P Basic style.

Have you noticed how you can tell the images of all 5 HP movies apart simply by their coloring? It's something I've come to notice more and more. This movie works in a wider scope of colors, mainly greys, yellows, greens and blues and truly it's, perhaps, the most beautiful photography of all the movies.

The opening scene was one of my favourite bits. It was like the book but very unlike it at the same time. Dudley was brilliant! Yo Big D! Representin' Surrey! LOL And OMG his face! Loved the taunting, the running desperately in the rain, the Dementors' grand entrance, all the cold and impending sense of menace, and über-weird Mrs. Figg. Also, it ended with a scantily clad Petunia. Many are now claiming: MILF.

Hogwarts was depicted in a really good way, somehow maintaining some sort of visual heritage of Goblet of Fire, with its Gothic look somewhat accented by its light colors. Also, I think this is the first film in which Hogwarts appears, well and truly, LIVED in. Finally the Gryffindor common room has come to life, it feels real. It was messy and cosy and full and there was music playing! We got to watch the students stroll around the corridors looking relaxed, playfull, rushed... i.e. like actual students. The little scenes, working to create a contrast for Umbridge's actions, gave me this feeling. Scenes like a couple kissing sitting in a corridor, students wearing their uniforms messily, etc.

As for the actors, this movie was crowned with amazing performances that enrich every scene we see. Starting with Daniel Radcliffe, whose incredible talent has been growing by the mile. He had a really good performance here, all the teenage angst seem to fit him like a glove. ;D Another actor, or actress as the case may be, that blew my mind away was the supreme Imelda Staunton that, like a gift from the Gods, made Umbridge truly come to life before my eyes. She was brilliant. Helena Bonham Carter was born to play Bellatrix. And to think she wasn't the first actress selected for the role! Blasphemy! Rupert Grint has been growing on me and gaining my love with each movie. Emma Watson not so much but I guess she's ok. Other actors that caught my eye for very good reasons (i.e. being great) were:
Alan Rickman, cause who can not love him as Snape?
Emma Thompson, as a suffering Trelawney.
Gary Oldman, yay for screen time for Sirius! They managed to create a feeling of deep bonds and affection between him and Harry and that was crucial to generate an impact on his death.
Ralph Fiennes. I thought he was kinda weird on Goblet of Fire but now I completely changed my mind. Coolest Voldemort ever! Great performance. I found him the focus of my attention most of the time he was on screen.
And Jason Isaacs, always ~~gorgeous~~ cool and colected as Lucius. I loved how manipulative he was made in this movie. It fits him. He's sneaky and cunning, much more the type to convince and manipulate than to be ready for action.

When it comes to characters, however, I have two major complaints. Draco Malfoy and Remus Lupin. Where the hell were they? They were ROBBED of screen time I tell you! ROBBED! Which is such a pity, especially when Draco has such an important part to play in the next movie and Lupin officially became the last direct link Harry has to his father.

They cut the Snape's Worst Memory scene short. I wouldn't complain, since the scene pretty much gets the point across, if they hadn't downplayed its impact on Harry so much. In the book this scene had a great impact on me. All Harry had ever heard about his father was how good he was, how brilliant, how brave... and now here he is faced with clear evidence that his father could be cruel and mean. I think they could've built something more around that. Or even include the bit when a distressed Harry talks about his father with Remus and Sirius (poor Lupin needed the screen time afterall =P).

All in all I really liked the way the movie attempts to give out the feeling that this isn't just about magic anymore. There's much more on the line now. The rebellion has begun and a war will follow. That's why I think that building the movie in a clearly character-driven way, letting go of things like Quidditch or the fact that Prefects were supposed to be elected, is justifiable.

So I had more to say than I thought. =P Probably forgot a lot of things though. My veredict: LOVE ♥. Definetely worth watching ~~several times~~.

I was going to include my Deathly Hallows review on this same post but my Ootp one got a bit out of hand so I'm doing two separate posts and posting the other one later tonight.

I'VE GOT IT! I'VE STARTED READING IT! ZOMG!!

nokasslash@gmail.com — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 13:56:36 GMT

YES! It's now mine! My own! My preciousssssss! My very own copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows straight out of the first box opened! YAY! *throws confetti and does a jig*

I'm currently reading the book but, obviously, since unlike many roaming around the web I'm a DECENT person, I won't say anything.

However, since I had such a great time last night and I'm still bouncing around in excitement, I had to come and vent some of it out lest I implode!The best thing of going to a midnight opening when you're a Potterholic, is having another Potterholic friend to go with you. And I do! I'm such a lucky lass. ;D Yesterday I had my last exam at Uni (and whether or not I graduate depends on whether or not I pass it, but let's not dwell on such terrifying things) so it was, from the start, a pretty stressful day for me. I feared I'd die of a heart attack before midnight came. I felt better when my lovely Potterholic friend told me that she had already been to the bathroom 7 times in the space of an hour cause she was so anxious to get her hands on the book! That made me feel calm by comparison! So around 9pm (cause my friend claimed she couldn't stand to be home another minute) off we went to the mall where the bookstore is located and spent a few hours going through all the clothes stores, checking out the sales.

Around 11h30pm we went inside the precious store holding our precious, already paid for, books! There were a lot of people there already but we managed to get close to the "set" they had prepared for the book's launching. It was like New Year's only much, much worse! I never knew 30min could be such a long freakin time!! They had some actors do some Harry Potter-inspired scene. But it was really, really lame! Srsly. I got to laugh a bit though. And it was annoying. I come bearing low quality videos of it. But then the time came and everyone rushed to get their copy (even though those wanting the children's edition had to wait a bit longer) and it was such a relief when I finally had the book in my hands.

We rushed to the registers (that I have never, in all the years I've been going there, seen so FULL!! OMG! Pics below) where we had the nice surprise of knowing we were going to be given PRESSIES!! I LOVE FREE STUFF!! So it was skipping happily that I returned home carrying not only my much beloved copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows but also a really neat matching bag and a Death Eater figure! I shall call it Lucius and it shall be my friend! Oh what evil deeds we shall perform together! I can now start to plan how to rule the world! MWAHAHAHA! XD

Loads of people at the registers. I was in the line for the last register so my vision is limited but all these people and some more on my line were the first to leave the store. Imagine 3 times as much still getting their books.

Me and my Potterholic friend looking extremely please with ourselves holding our copies of HPDH! YAY!

The Harry Potter kit I carried home! Isn't like AWESOME?? SQUEEEEEEEE!!

My book! ZOMG! It's mineeeeeeeeeeee!!One just has to see it from multiple angles to fully appreciate it. I thought it'd be thicker though.

My very own Death Eater!! Oh we'll wreack havoc we will!! *wistful sigh*

Some videos of the live performance by random actors that took place a bit before midnight. Lame, I know.

I thought it'd look nice to film everyone eagerly getting their books as we waited for the children's edition to arrive. Salomé's angry growl at the end is her anger at having been made to wait. =P

ZOMG IT'S TODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

nokasslash@gmail.com — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 19:09:17 GMT

Just in case in wasn't stressed enough from this post's title: ZOMG IT'S TODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! Like, today's the DAY! At midnight Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will arrive at bookstores and guess who's going to be there to imediately get her copy?? Hey! How did you guess it was me?? o.O

=P And looky! I got my LJ looking Harry-Potterish! THAT'S how freakin geeky I am! XD

I meant to write my thoughts on the new Harry Potter movie as well but I'm not sure what to say. =P I really liked it thhough so I'll give it some more thought (cause it's already been a week) and write something on it later.

CAUSE RIGHT NOW I'M JUST TOO EXCITED!! And I might get a huge disappointment but, right now, WHO CARES??? ;D

In the meantime, if you've watched the movie and want to laugh your head off just follow THIS for a parody on it by mistful. I promise, it's brilliant! LOL

♥♥HP♥♥

Fic: Ever Lasting Flame (5/11) PG-13 HET

nokasslash@gmail.com — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 20:46:01 GMT

Title: Ever Lasting Flame (5/11)
Author: Nokas
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/OFC
Disclaimer: Nope. Not true. Never happened. Even the OFC doesn't (really) belong to me.
Beta: None. All mistakes are my own. Do point them out if you spot them, please.
Summary: Filled with a need to change, Teresa decides to start her life over in New Zealand. A massive Hollywood production and a one of its actors conspire to make her feel alive once more. (A/N: very crappy summary, I know).

Orlando crawled into his small rented apartment. The end of yet another exhausting day of practice as outside the sun was setting. A lot was needed so he could truly embody Legolas, the graceful Elf warrior.

He automatically turned his eyes to the answering machine. Nothing there. He sighed. Only one week ago, he had had the most amazing time with a girl who was, up until then, no more than a stranger. It had already been a week since the party. Time flies when you spend your days in Middle Earth. He should’ve called her, let her know that kiss hadn’t been hollow, that it had meant something. After kissing they sat on the couch together, his arm around her shoulders, silently enjoying each other’s presence and a couple more glasses of champagne each. In his drunken state, Orlando had, embarrassingly, fallen asleep with his head on her shoulder. He remembered feeling extremely comfortable there and hearing Viggo whispering “lightweight” somewhere nearby in that tone he always used when speaking fondly about something. Since then he had found his thoughts constantly drifting to Teresa. She was all he could think about. She had probably been in a daze as well, as drunk on the alcohol they drank and the kisses they shared as he was. That night had been a blind realisation and everything seemed to make complete sense. He had for one moment achieved a simple perfection where the safety of a fantasy and the bliss of reality were intertwined. This was always in his mind. He now considered himself a sick obsessed guy counting the days to insanity.

How could someone turn his emotions inside out in a matter of hours? One day he was perfectly content with his life in New Zealand, living and growing with new experiences. By the following morning, waking up with back aching and his head splitting in two with a monstrous hangover, he was feeling so alone it physically hurt and he was even afraid of once more facing the goddess of his thoughts. She was too powerful, those wild eyes cast spells. How else to explain the painful battle inside him? He couldn’t have feelings for her. It was too rash, too unpredictable. He had once said “if you know exactly what you’re going to do, why do it?” but this was taking it over the edge. There was no way to explain what had happened to him that day with Teresa but he was determined not to lose his sanity over it.

Shaking his head as a technique to expel unwanted thoughts, Orlando undressed as he headed for the bathroom hoping a hot, relaxing shower would help him clear his mind. His muscles were tense. It was unbelievable the ways in which that Portuguese girl was affecting him. He had sought counsel in Viggo. He was definitely not the most mentally stable but he was wiser, more mature and he felt at ease with him. Surrounded by unfinished paintings and a maze of wrinkled papers throughout the floor, comfortably settled in one end of a couch, absorbing the eccentric vibration that seemed to come out of the environment Viggo had created for himself within the rented apartment, he felt confident to open his heart. The Dane’s artistic sensitivity was touched by Orlando’s words. He had considered the young man’s feelings to be truly poetic and advised him to follow his heart with no restraints allowing himself to experience each emotion fully. “The heart has reasons that reason itself is unaware of” he had said. Where had he heard that? Nevertheless, his heart had felt lighter after his conversation with the older man. Viggo had shattered all his hidden inner fears, and when Orlando stated that Teresa was almost a stranger since he knew nothing about her, the Dane had merely answered that “there’s always reason within madness”. The older man indeed knew what to say. No questioning that. The tension built up inside him had vanished just by opening his heart to a friend for ten minutes. It was close to magical.

However his strange feelings for someone he hardly knew were not his only concern during that week. There was also Dom. Dom and his suddenly weird behaviour towards him. It remained a mystery for a few days. A few days during which Orlando was left wondering what the hell had happened. They had bonded from day one. They balanced each other as friends in their differences and similarities. God, he had even persuaded the height fearing Dom to go bungee jumping. Now all that appeared to be forgotten. How could it all have changed so fast? Some things in his life were just taking place at the speed of light. Never before had he been confronted with that sort of situation. First, a few days changes his whole perspective of his stay in New Zealand and originates feelings for someone of who he knew nothing about. Then, one of his best mates seemed keen on avoiding him with no apparent reason. Why was Dom acting like that? The answer to that question came as a shock to Orlando. Never would he have guessed that the solid companionship he had with his fellow British actor could be broken by petty feelings. The answer was simple. The answer was envy. Dom was seeing the grass greener on the other side. On Orlando’s side. And the reason was one alone. The reason was Teresa. Discovering this side of his mate was not an easy journey no matter how fast things were happening.

Feeling the hot water from his shower, Orlando in vain tried to relax. Things would be difficult between him and Dom for the time being. He sighed as the events of the day before replayed in his mind. His heart still ached from it. It was the day when he had finally gotten the courage to confront his mate. He had to. It just couldn’t go on. Dom was getting on his nerves with his exaggerated evasive behaviour and his obvious attempts to ignore him. It was the day when he had found out about Dom’s irrational infatuation for Teresa. Yes, irrational. He seemed to fancy himself some sort of Romeo elaborately courting his lady. He was focused on shamelessly throwing himself at her feet. Could it be labelled as anything else? Yes, it was irrational. Of course it was true that he was also experiencing strange deep feelings for Teresa after only actually being with her a few times. So it was an entirely different thing. The two situations couldn’t even be compared.

Realising the hot shower would do nothing to release him of his tension; Orlando stepped out of it and dried himself. He knew he had to do something. If he ventured nothing he would gain nothing. What did he fear? Rejection? He had nothing to lose so he’d be no worse off than at the moment. He would have to bury his foolish pride for he would be lying if he told his heart he didn’t want her. Yes he was embarrassed for his drunken behaviour. It had been rude and appalling. But that didn’t even come close to a good enough reason. If she did reject him, then it would be fine.

Calming himself and gathering some bravery, he placed a towel around his waist and headed for the phone. Before he could regret any of his actions, he picked up a paper that Billy had given him a week ago and had been lying there on the table ever since, and dialled an unfamiliar number carefully. Ringing… No one was picking up… The answering machine did its job and a group of three different voices, one male and two female, was heard: “Hi! You just called one of these amazing people: Alex, Tatiana or Teresa! Yup, you guessed it; we’re not here at the moment so please leave your message right after the beep”.

Damn it! He had planned to speak to her but now this would have to do. Maybe it would be even easier. As he spoke, his voice trembled. He was back to his teenager years or so it would seem. Some sort of epic battle was going on in his stomach. He was incredibly nervous. His heart was beating one million times per second. What was wrong with him? Go ahead Bloom! You have to try! Breathe in, breathe out. You can’t lose what you never had.

“Hey guys! I don’ know who’s listening to this. It’s Orlando. Teresa… I… have the day off tomorrow. Would you like to do something? Go somewhere? I had a lovely time last week. Sorry about… ehm… the way it ended. Sorry. Call me. Bye!”

There, that wasn’t so hard. Now all he had to do was to wait. And if the magical aura of that afternoon had got to her as well, he would do whatever it would take until he touched the sky.

~*~

Teresa sat at one of the tables by the window inside Fidel’s Cafe, looking to the street outside trying to spot Orlando. She couldn’t believe she had gotten there first! This was not how it happened in the movies. In the movies, the guy always got there first and would elegantly wait the arrival of his soul mate while little pink petals danced across the street. This was wrong. Not only there were no petals whatsoever to be seen swirling in the air but also she was the first one to arrive and Orlando was late. Maybe he’d forgotten. Maybe she was getting dumped on her first date! Oh my God, she still couldn’t believe she was having a date with the man on her dreams. Well, she hoped she would at least get to the date part anyway… If he would be so kind as to actually show up. Shut up, shut up! Don’t jinx it! He had been the one to call, so of course he would show up. He wouldn’t have bothered otherwise. He had even sounded nervous on the phone. She remembered it clearly. Ever single hurried word of the entire phone call. Which wasn’t long at all. But still.

“Orlando?”

“Yes…Teresa?”

“Yeah, it’s me!”

Oh no! She was burying herself deep into her own stupidity! What happened to her tongue? It seemed to have withdrawn into her throat right after her stupid giggling, preventing her from articulating any word whatsoever. Whenever it came to him, she appeared to always be crawling in the same puddle of mud, a puddle of idiocy. She felt a strong urge to bang her head against the nearest wall, but instead, gathering more strength than she thought existed in her being, she managed to speak with a trembling fearful voice.

“So…you…want to go somewhere tomorrow?”

“Yeah! I mean…definitely…I mean… I’d love to.”

“And… where do you wanna go?”

“I was hoping you’d have an idea…”

“Well… since we had such a lovely time last week, why don’t we go back to Fidel’s for a drink and… we’ll take it from there”

“Sure!! I mean…sounds great…”

They scheduled their rendezvous to 3pm and at long last hung up. Teresa felt excited but without doubt more relaxed. Now here she was, anxiously twisting a napkin in her hands, and could do nothing but hope that it would all go well.

~*~

At the end of that same phone call, on the other end of the line, Orlando had let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. No matter how hard he tried to fight it, the bolts of joy running through his body left no room for doubts. He had found something in her. There was some sort of pure truth behind it all. She was what he yearned for, a drink that quenched a thirst he didn’t even know he had.

He hurried down the street. He tried not to run. He didn’t want to get all sweaty. How could he be late?? It probably had something to do with the time he had spent pouring half a bottle of cologne on himself. Maybe he overdid it there. But wanting to smell nice wasn’t a sin, was it? His stomach had curled into a ball inhabited by a thousand butterflies. He was going to meet Teresa. But this time he wouldn’t casually run into her in a boutique, it was planned. It was a date. His heart skipped a beat and he nearly tripped over his own feet as this simple fact hit him for the first time. They were going out on a date. The type of thing that usually climaxed in a kiss on a doorstep. His mind was immediately filled with images of him kissing Teresa’s sweet lips and he blushed. Now, why was he blushing? He had kissed women before. Several of them. Including Teresa herself. So why was he reacting like an inexperienced teenager? It was her. She was different. She was somehow more special than all the others. She mysteriously stood out from other women. He came to a halt and stood about fifty feet across from Fidel’s Café. He saw her, innocently fidgeting and staring at the table. She stopped her movements as she gently raised her head spotting him standing in the middle of the street, apparently admiring her. She had never looked so sweet. Orlando’s heart was tore in two, half wanting to stay there forever, half wanting to hurry inside and be next to her. The urge for closeness won, and freeing himself from the invisible ropes that held him, he entered the coffee shop with a smile lighting his perfect white teeth and a sparkle swaying in the chocolate pools he owned in the place most mortals had eyes.

Teresa felt her body freeze when she saw Orlando standing across from the café, surrounded by anonym people that passed by him. His gaze was firmly kept in place. It almost seemed he was looking at her. Was he? Yes, he was. Her cheeks began to burn with a shade of red coming upon them. However, she did not move, her eyes locked with his. When he finally moved and walked inside, her heart was keened on coming out of her chest. It thumped so hard it physically hurt. She lost herself in the brightness of his smile and the deepness of his eyes. The world melted away and she existed in a parallel universe. Her universe. Where the smell of coffee was mixed with the feel of her sweaty hands, the look of his overwhelming beauty, the sound of her heartbeat and the taste of love… He sat in front of her bringing her daydreaming universe-drifting moment to an end. They were content in just staring at each other, not stroke by the oddness of it. It lasted an infinite minute until the constant melody he had as a voice was heard deep inside her soul, apologising for his delay and insulting his own behaviour. She said she didn’t mind at all, and her tongue betrayed her to the confession that it was worth the waiting. Awkward shy chuckles broke the tension and once again they found themselves flowing through an easy conversation, enjoying every second of one another’s company, feeling pleasantly comfortable. That is, until Orlando delivered her a bomb on a silver platter.

“Teresa… I… I’m really having a good time today. You’re great company.”

She hesitated, blushing before an unexpected compliment. “Thanks… I… Me too. And you too.” She blushed an even deeper shade of red. “That is. You’re great company too.”

“I… I’m sorry we won’t be able to do this again for a while.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re going away.”

“What?”

“I mean, temporarily. We’ll be filming in the South Island for the next couple of months, and then it’s Xmas break, everyone goes home… I’ll be away for a while.”

“Oh…” Why was he telling her this now? Was that the only reason he had called her? To tell her this was it? There would be no more of those few shared kisses? Wasn’t that a bit cruel? He should just leave her and her silly illusions and walk away without a word. This was much harder. “I see…” she said, feebly.

“I’ll be back though. So, no worries.”

“Is that the reason you asked me out today? To tell me you were going away? That I shouldn’t get my hopes up after… what happened at the party?”

“No! No, no, no, no. You misunderstood me.”

“I… I’ll miss you. I… I think I should go home now. It’s getting late.”

“Teresa! Wait!”

Teresa got up, waved briefly at the employees behind the counter and briskly walked out the door. She didn’t give Orlando any time to stop her. She stopped walking as soon as she was outside. Viggo was standing there, apparently getting ready to go inside. They stared at each other for a second, until Orlando exited as well. The two men shared a look that must have meant something to both of them and the Brit gently wrapped his hand around Teresa’s wrist. She sighed.

She had already doomed herself. She loved Orlando. His clumsiness, his smile, his cocky attitude, his joy, his colourful clothing, his sweetness… Would she bear to part like this? She didn’t know. The hurricane sweeping through her mind and heart had mixed everything together and turned it upside down. She would let fate decide. If there were any higher powers at work somewhere this was their chance to show themselves. She told herself she would go with the flow.

There. That was all she could say to herself in order not to run from the one who would unknowingly keep her heart with him. She couldn’t surrender to her instincts to flee from that place, from the enticing presence of that dark haired angel she had stumbled upon in her dreams and in her path.

As a perfect gentleman, Orlando, or Lando as he now wanted her to call him, insisted on walking her back home. Teresa’s brain was flooded with images from dozens of corny films where the dates always end just like that. A boy and a girl on her doorstep looking at one another with a wide grin on their faces. Hopes can either be built or destroyed on that moment in time. She reminded herself that they were not on an official date. Were they? They had just gone out. For drinks. Not a date at all. That sort of tension did not apply to their situation.

Once they arrived at their destination, he said nothing for an achingly long pause and then merely murmured “Goodbye”. She turned her back to him and slowly started to walk towards the building’s door.

Orlando turned around and for the longest seconds he had ever experienced blankly stared at an unknown spot in a wall, not really seeing anything before him since his eyes were focused inwards. Searching for a resolution, some sort of bravery. It was there. He had it in him and this realization was all it took for him to know what it was he had to do. He put an end to his stillness and turned back.

“Teresa…” She said nothing. Bewilderment seemed to have taken the best of her. She was absolutely speechless. If there was ever a moment when action was necessary, that was it. Without saying another word, Orlando moved closer to the girl’s static body and gently laid his hand in the back of her neck. With his soft lips close to her left ear in sweet sensuality he whispered. “Parting is such sweet sorrow that I will say good night till it be morrow”. He smiled as he studied all the emotions flowing through her eyes in a second as he drew back. Not pausing any longer to think he once more leaned closer and touched her lips with his. He had thought too much long enough. It was time to act the way his heart told him to. It was a brief tender kiss that left a scorch mark deep within him. “I’ll miss you too. See you soon. Don’t forget me.”

She smiled brightly, warmed by a new kiss to remember. “I won’t. See you soon.”

Feeling oddly relieved by her denial, she stood on the building’s entrance, hope growing steady in her heart, watching every step he took walking down the street, both giggling when he turned to see if she was still observing his movements. His heart was pounding, struggling to rip through his chest and see the light of day. He stopped when he saw Viggo. He had stayed behind, waiting.

“Nice going Elf-boy. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

No answer. Orlando appeared to be too busy summoning all his blood to his cheeks. Viggo said no more and merely put his arm around the younger man’s shoulders.

“Come on. All you have to do now is wait.”

Orlando sighed. He would wait. He would wait forever and a day if he had to.

“Don’t worry. You have no reasons to now”.

He sounded sure. Maybe he was. How, he would never know. Viggo just had these unsolved mysteries about him. Nevertheless he had never failed him. If the Dane was so certain then perhaps Orlando could and should share some of his assurance.

“Even if you were oceans apart she would hold you within.”

tbc... Next chapter...

Everybody wants to post something on 07.07.07 and I actually have stuff to say!!

nokasslash@gmail.com — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 23:01:14 GMT

Here I am, enjoying the last few minutes of the special date that is 07.07.07 (and you can order that in any way you like, isn't that COOL?) to make a post, cause who doesn't want to have a post today? =P

Interestingly enough, a lot has happened in the past few days and I actually have stuff to write about! :O But not all of it today cause I'm kinda sleepy and lack coherence.

jackypirate has, sadly, ceased to exist. She deleted her journal and was reborn as magical_sphere, a name I'm proud to have inspired through my latest creative designation for my Friends Page. =P I'm good for something after all!

HP fever seems to be running wild! I think my mom is ready to beat me to death with a stick the next time I utter the words: "Look, a Harry Potter poster!". Cause there are so many of them, I must've repeated this about 100 times already. Lisbon, literally, seems to have at least one in every main street! That's like, whoa! XD I just saw bits of an interview with JK Rowling on tv and some of the things she said kinda scared me. =P I confess I am very much dreading the contents of the highly antecipated final book. *shivers*

Lots of events going on today! Everyone want to take advantage of such a significant date. I still think the last HP book should've gone to stores today. It would be the perfect date for the 7th book. But still, Live Earth concerts are still going on somewhere on the world and millions of people have been mobilized for the environmental cause. I think that can almost give me a little bit of hope. Also, the so called New 7 Wonders were "elected" a short while ago right here in Lisbon, Portugal (which is why I'm mentioning it in the 1st place =P). I found the whole thing a bit anti-climatic, not to mention a bit meaningless when faced with another much more noble cause, but, hey, that's just me. Anything to look at pictures of pretty monuments for a while. XD And they need some protecting too.

My brother and I spent some time today deciding that everyone in our house is a geek about something, except my mom. For which she was, for some reason, heartbroken. I'm ~~alledgedly~~ a movie/book geek. My brother's a total car geek (give him a brand and model and he'll tell you all there is to know). And my dad's a tool geek (even though he needs plenty for his job, he's way too attached to them, move a nail out of place and he'll notice it immediately). My mom's currently trying to find something to be geeky about. I don't think she'll have much luck, though. =P

Fic: Ever Lasting Flame (4/11) PG-13 HET

nokasslash@gmail.com — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 17:07:37 GMT

Title: Ever Lasting Flame (4/11)
Author: Nokas
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/OFC
Disclaimer: Nope. Not true. Never happened. Even the OFC doesn't (really) belong to me.
Beta: None. All mistakes are my own. Do point them out if you spot them, please.
Summary: Filled with a need to change, Teresa decides to start her life over in New Zealand. A massive Hollywood production and a one of its actors conspire to make her feel alive once more. (A/N: very crappy summary, I know).

At about 2am, feeling giddy and warm from drinking Pineapple Vodka and a couple of glasses of champagne and amidst a cheerful non-stopping crowd, Teresa decided Billy-logic was something she did not understand. After taking it upon himself to make all the necessary arrangements for the social event of the month, Billy had decided their Party to Kill All Parties was to take place in a large, quiet rented house near the sea.

The night had started out with Teresa and Tatiana digging their way through their wardrobes in search of a perfect outfit. Finding it was a hard task and Alex had stuck to making fun of their nervousness and dismiss it as a “silly girls’ thing” even as they despaired and time ticked away. They arrived at the rented house, conveniently located on the outskirts of Wellington, a little before the designated time. It had actually taken Sala’s intervention to disentangle them from Elijah and Billy’s eager huggling. Teresa wondered if the big blue eyed boy had already been through the impressive stash of bottles she’d seen when walking into the large living room.

A complete mess of colourful confetti, piled up bottles of several types of alcoholic drinks (with the clear predominance of champagne), boxes of typical party snacks and paper streamers coiled around the floor made up the settings of the battleground for the party of doom. Saying commotion ruled that rented house would be a serious understatement. Everyone Teresa had met at the Café was there already, looking cheerful and ready to party, albeit a bit tired. Elijah was running around with no visible purpose to his comings and goings. Billy was acting as supervisor, directing everybody else and trying to get a grip on the massive mess before all the other guests got there. A man they were introduced to as Beanie had taken the task of carrying all the boxes of the so-called “party-supplies”. They knew the British actor’s name very well. Tatiana insisted he reminded her of her father. But it wasn’t hard to like such a lively man, even if he had a sickening butch love for football, if the Footie Fanatic Alert t-shirt was anything to go by. Dom appeared to be missing as no one knew where to find him, for which Teresa was more than thankful. Orlando and Viggo were both sitting, forming a vivacious group occupying a couple of the many fluffy light orange couches located around the large living room.

Billy joined them and immediately waved the newly arrived over, signalling they should join in as well. More guests were arriving and the mess had quickly vanished. Several voices were beginning to be heard, chatting and laughing, while music made a lively background. Teresa’a heart skipped a few beats as she approached the group and noticed Orlando, mirroring his behaviour at the Café and once again sitting by the wall, leaning against it, always next to Viggo. His Mohawk was styled in a different way, with ends sticking up in various directions, making him look like a fashionably rebel model, dressed up in hip-hugging blue jeans and a light-blue form fitting shirt. Gorgeous. As per usual. If it wasn’t for that strange looking haircut (whatever had possessed him to do THAT?) he could almost be considered perfectly beautiful. While he didn’t get his hair cut once again, gorgeous would have to do.

She smiled as the rest of the guys, having done whatever task Billy had amicably imposed on them, started to occupy the seats around them, doing her best to appear calm and not let everybody know she feared her heart could pop out of her chest anytime. Elijah definitively appeared to be a bit tipsy already. He must have had arrived even earlier than all the other guests, probably to help Billy out with last minute arrangements. Sala and Viggo were now discussing some of the day’s scenes, the older man casually leaning against Orlando. Sala was calling the other man a bastard for kicking him when he was supposed to be dead, to which he received amused husky laughter as a reply, from both Viggo and Orlando, who had clearly witnessed the scene.

Tatiana was officially introduced and everyone seemed pretty eager to finally get to know Alex’s girlfriend. At that moment, not long after her arrival, Teresa was just eager to get away from Dom’s line of sight. He was being his annoying, staring self again and it felt deeply unpleasant to be under his ruthless scrutiny. She should just ignore him. He had to give up sometime, right? Even if it was taking him forever to take the bloody hint. Tatiana, ever the attentive friend, noticed her fidgety uncomfortable behaviour and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“What’s wrong, hun?”

Teresa discreetly signalled with her eyes to the young man sitting opposite her. It took but a glance for her friend to catch him still staring.

“That guy?” she asked “Is he that Dom guy you told me about?”

“The one and, fortunately, only.”

“I thought he’d look more, I don’t know, geeky or something.”

“What? Geez, would he quit with the bloody staring already??”

Tatiana laid a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder and kept a close watch on her. That creepy Dom guy was beginning to worry her, even if she had tried to make light of the situation. She tried to think of a way to steer everyone into conversation, maybe that would work to distract Teresa from the blonde sitting across from them.

“So…” she spoke loud enough to attract everyone’s attention. “How can you guys look so energetic? After a day of work, you must be pretty beat.”

“No way. We are the children of the night!” Dom replied, grinning triumphantly at the unanimous agreement around the table and strategically placing his gaze on Teresa once more “We love going out on Fridays. You should join us sometime. We could go to a pub for a drink or to a disco”.

Tatiana tried her best to smile in the friendliest way possible, struggling not to show the annoyance she was now feeling towards the young man. Why was he the one to reply? Couldn’t any of the others do it? Sala? Billy? Viggo? Why the guy who was so evidently working his way to closeness with Teresa when she wasn’t even interested? Fortunately, everything seemed to be alright since Teresa didn’t appear to even notice him. Thank God for that! She seemed distracted by something, lost in her thoughts at the moment.

“That’s my kind of thing!” Billy added. “Drinking, dancing and singing till we drop!” He visibly cheered up at the sheer mention of doing those things.

“How is that different from what you’re doing now?” Sala countered, making everyone laugh and encourage the Scottish to go and get everyone new drinks.

Soon enough, the guys had begun to tell some behind the scenes stories. The most hilarious and humiliating for the people involved they could think of, of course. After a while, Tatiana began to notice how some words seemed to trigger strange reactions in her friend’s movements. Body language is an open book for those who know us well enough to interpret it correctly. The light of realisation shone in Tatiana’s mind and she could not prevent a discrete smile. It was that Orlando person. He was making her friend act so out of character, pensive and much too dreamy. She fancied him. Wow, talk about love at first sight! It was the same sort of attraction that appeared to have emerged in others, annoyingly enough. Tatiana was definitely not enjoying the way that weird Dom character was still ogling Teresa. Couldn’t he see her eyes were strongly fixed in someone else? She loved her friend to bits, but she had never been one for much discretion. Once more, she leaned over slightly in order to whisper in the other girl’s ear.

“What are you waiting for?”

“What? What do you mean?”

“You’ve been quiet for a while now. And you keep looking at Mohawk-boy! Just break the ice with him already!”

“I’m… not sure what to say.”

“How about kiss me, you’re gorgeous?”

“Shut up! It’s not like we’ve never talked before.”

“What? Don’t tell me… Wait… He’s that guy you told me about last week? The one from the Café?”

A hesitant pause. “Yeah…”

“Then talk to him right now Teresa or I’ll throw you on his lap!!”

“Ok, ok… Geez…”

If only looks could kill, Tatiana would have fallen lifeless on the living room’s floor at that very moment, for the look that came out of Teresa’s eyes was nothing but deadly. She didn’t want to say something stupid to Orlando, she didn’t want to do anything that might cause him to find her even more of an idiot than she had already proved herself to be in front of him. She would only bury herself in a deep pit of endless humiliation. And she called herself her best friend! How could she just force her into action like that? Her murderous thoughts were interrupted by Billy bringing over a plate filled burgers.

“Eat ‘em up while they’re warm, everyone! There won’t be much food left soon, I’m afraid. Oh and I brought you a veggie one, Lando.”

“Ta, Bills. Nice of you to remember.”

“So you’re a vegetarian?” Teresa launched herself at the first opportunity for conversation she found. And he was a vegetarian. One more fact she now knew about him.

“Yeah. I am.” He smiled at her. It was the seventh time he had smiled at her. She had counted and treasured each one.

“Don’t all the veggie dishes taste funny?”

“No they don’t. It’s only a matter of knowing what and how to cook”. Teresa’s eyes widened for some reason at the simple sound of Orlando’s voice directed at her. They were then, rudely, in Teresa’s opinion, interrupted by Dom.

“Hey you guys. I know how to cook veggie too!”

Tatiana gave him a barely disguised why-did-you-have-to-talk look but for her contentment, Billy was fast in his reply.

“Yeah, but you won’t say no to a burger, will you?”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t cook!”

Tatiana was feeling rather annoyed by him. She couldn’t help it! How much more obvious could he be? There she was, trying to get her to make a move on the guy she clearly fancied, and there was this Dom shamelessly interfering and wanting what Orlando was getting. Couldn’t he see he didn’t stand a chance? Teresa’s eyes had worship written all over them. The browns and greens shining with an unknown sparkle.

Now it was already 2am, the party had officially started nearly five hours ago. After the initial entertaining boom of activity things had died a little and the atmosphere was at the present rather quiet. Several empty bottles adorned the floor beneath the table as many full ones were kept near the absurd amount of glasses they had set up. Everyone now sat quietly in small groups of pleasant conversation. Alex, Billy and Beanie were sitting in chairs close to the central table discussing football. Dom was actually managing to have a pleasant conversation with Sean Astin and his wife, Christine, whom Teresa had met a short while ago, all comfortably sitting in one of the couches. Tatiana and Teresa were busy listening to stories about New Zealand and the wonders of the country from Craig, another one of the actors, very amusing and lively, Sala and Lawrence, who was also part of the stunt team, or so she was told, the five of them having made themselves comfortable on the pillows scattered across a large carpet behind a couch. Viggo and Orlando were simply keeping each other company. They never appeared to need to speak much around each other. And maybe the Brit had had a bit too much to drink, Teresa hadn’t been able to help but notice he had already had quite a few. A loud noise of something dragging through the wooden floorboards brought everybody’s attention to the door from which emerged an Elijah flushed by the effort of pushing and pulling a whole karaoke machine into the living room. He beamed when he finally managed to complete his task.

“Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

“Oh my God! We’re going to have karaoke!!” Craig all but squealed, standing up from where he was sitting.

“Yup!” the blue eyed American seemed to be quite proud of his achievement. “But it’s for later. I still have to put the whole damn thing together. Why don’t you go and put some music on? This room is so quiet I thought you had all gone to sleep!”

Nodding, Craig moved to the stereo and soon the sounds of Ricky Martin’s Livin La Vida Loca filled the house and got the bodies swaying to the rhythm. Yet, it was still to the drowning out sounds of the song’s Latin beat that Billy rose with his filled glass in hand and asked Elijah to put something on that would make all the couples dance, smirking as his eyes looked into Alex’s. He was fully aware of the fact that his friend hated dancing in public but he couldn’t resist the teasing and he watched as Elijah hopped off to the stereo pondering on which song to play. His choice fell on Insatiable by Darren Hayes which earned him a sneer from Sala.

“Did one of the girls bring that Lij?”

“No it’s… it’smine…” the American whispered ashamedly.

“What?”

“It’s mine, alright?”

“It’s ok mate, just ‘cause you like to listen to a guy moan I don’t think any less of you for it!”

Elijah’s glare told the world that the Kiwi was lucky to have walked away at that moment or there would be hell to pay. He obviously thought that wasn’t moaning! To him it was singing. Trying to get her mind off of moaning men, Teresa fixed her eyes on the improvised dance floor in the middle of the living room where Alex and Tatiana were already embracing each other in an intimate dance. They were soon afterwards joined by Astin and Christine who seemed to be enjoying their few days away from the responsibilities of parenthood.

Dom was not one to surrender in face of a challenge, nor was he an idiot unable to recognise an opportune moment. So, the minute Tatiana disappeared from sight, held tight in her boyfriend’s arms, he rose from his chair and took a place next to Teresa.

“Do you like to dance Teresa?”

Her sweet eyes met with the blonde’s blue ones. She seemed to hesitate for a split second, as if deciding whether to answer or not, or how to answer.

“Yeah, I do”

“Me too” he said with a silly grin to match his equally silly reply “So what do you think about this bunch of actors?”

“Everyone’s being really friendly”, her voice sounded distant, as if it were providing an automatic answer and not a felt one. She also sounded rather relieved.

“Ever thought about acting yourself?”

Surprise was obvious in her face and her attention seemed to drift back to the conversation “Why do you ask that? I’m no good at that kind of thing”

“Well, why not? You have lovely features and I bet your parents would be really proud of you when you were famous!” he tried to disguise the complement by making it sound like a casual comment and Teresa seemed to accept it as such.

“You’re sweet, but I’d like to make them proud with something else”

“I bet that’ll be easy. In fact, I find it very hard to believe you could ever disappoint anyone. Especially when you fit in so well, no matter where you are.” he gestured to his surroundings, flashing her his million dollar smile and avoiding her eyes like a shy teenage boy in front of the school’s most beautiful girl. Teresa started to wish for an interruption. “Listen would you like to…”

From the other corner of the room a pair of dark chocolate orbs followed the romantically linked bodies moving to the sensual beat and moved to stare at the two figures on the couch. Teresa didn’t seem to be enjoying Dom’s attention very much. He noticed her stiff posture, leaning slightly away from the young man. Feeling the extra push coming from the pleasant warmth of alcohol flowing through him he got up and made his way to them. Putting his hand in front of her in invitation he interrupted whatever Dom was about to say and filled his chest with air.

“Dance with me?”

Looking up at the owner of the slender fingers Teresa felt her heart do a happy dance inside and didn’t hesitate. Taking his hand as an aid to get up, she followed him to where the other two couples were still dancing. Orlando put his hands in her hips, drawing her closer. She intertwined her hands behind his neck. Their bodies grinding together as if any bit of air between them was not bearable. A few seconds was all it took for them to be mesmerized by each other and Teresa never got a chance to take notice of Tatiana’s happy grin. As brown orbs met greenish ones, Orlando had his moment and, fuelled by alchohol-induced courage, shortened the by now very small distance between their faces even further wanting to feel her breath on his lips. Teresa unconscientiously licked her lips; it was the sign the Brit was waiting for and he eliminated the remaining distance joining his lips with hers. But that simple touch wasn’t enough for either of them. Possessed by a strange hunger, Orlando deepened the kiss, his tongue received permission to caress the inside of the girl’s mouth. She tasted of something sweet with a touch of alcohol. It was intoxicating, almost addictive. Teresa’s brain overloaded as she tried to remind herself not to think, to just follow her instincts and return the passion with equal fervour. It didn’t matter that they hardly even knew each other and that it made no sense. She could swear she felt the kiss vibrating on her entire body. He tasted of martini with a touch of chocolate. Perfect. Everything around her paled in comparison to what she was enjoying. There was just her and Orlando in the most beautiful of voids.

The cheer that erupted from the people around them was what forced their return to reality. They exhibited strangely proud, albeit sheepish, huge grins to their friends and indulged in another kiss. There was clapping and whistling from all around them but Orlando still caught a glimpse of Dom hurrying to leave the room as fast as he could. Then, they were faced with just each other and neither was certain of the right procedure for their situation. The night was just about to be drawn to a close. They both hesitated, forsaken the touch of the other’s skin, staring at one another uncertainly. Now what?

tbc... Next chapter...

Can a meme really be called shocking?

nokasslash@gmail.com — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 22:37:35 GMT

I was reading through teresabloom's journal and INNOCENTLY decided to borrow and try out this meme. Little did poor naïve me know I'd be in for the shock of the day. This was the result it gave me:

How evil are you?

I mean come on!! I know I've always found the dark side of the force rather attractive. It's the title of my journal! And, for all matters HP, I'm Slytherin all the way. But am I really a closet demon? *shudders* I know sometimes people could run just for looking at me but I never thought it had anything to do with me being PURE EVIL. XD

Anyways, to prove my innocence when faced with such offensive accusations (I CAN HEAR YOU COUGH teresabloom!!!), here's a description of what happened today when I had to run that tricky family operation called dinner because my mom has a tooth infection:

ME: (to dad and brother) Here are your omelets boys! Eat up!
BROTHER: (looking at dad's plate) Your omelet's better than mine. Let's switch!
DAD: Noooo... You eat yours, I'll eat mine.
BROTHER: You know, I'm bigger and stronger than you.
DAD: To each their own! (tries to move plate away)
ME: (looking stern) Just divide both omelets in half, children! No fighting at the table!!

See? I'm the perfect example of patience and virtue even though my dad's stuck at age 5 and my brother's a pain in the ass! No pure evil here! XD

Fic: Ever Lasting Flame (3/11) HET PG-13

nokasslash@gmail.com — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 20:27:47 GMT

Title: Ever Lasting Flame (3/11)
Author: Nokas
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/OFC
Disclaimer: Nope. Not true. Never happened. Even the OFC doesn't (really) belong to me.
Beta: None. All mistakes are my own. Do point them out if you spot them, please.
Summary: Filled with a need to change, Teresa decides to start her life over in New Zealand. A massive Hollywood production and a one of its actors conspire to make her feel alive once more. (A/N: very crappy summary, I know).

It didn’t take long for Teresa to realize that agreeing to go to a huge party filled with people she didn’t know in an environment that was far from her own might not have been the best idea. But then again, things agreed upon when under pressure from others are not always the best choices.

To make things worst, it had been a hormone-based decision. What else to call to that irrational attraction she had felt towards Orlando if not raging hormones due to an urgent need of getting some? People didn’t just start feeling warm and fuzzy inside after meeting someone once! It was just not done. It could hardly even be called natural. And yet here she was, imagining pink fluffy hearts around a guy who had barely even looked at her and had spoken but one sentence directed at her.

Teresa stared at the clock on the right wall, absent mindedly watching it tick away the time while she tried to no avail to clear her mind from weird and totally inappropriate fantasies. She obviously had too much time on her hands. Wednesdays afternoons were always slow and today had even been blessedly Dom-free. That guy had become even more annoying ever since she had agreed to show up at that bloody party. It was her own fault, though. She signed her own sentence. She decided to stare at the new waitress in order to amuse herself. Not much time left till she got out anyway. The girl had only started working there the day before and Teresa couldn’t, for the life of her, seem to remember her name. She saw the girl’s eyes widen as she heard the door open, presumably allowing entrance to a customer. She tore her eyes away from her nameless co-worker and fixed them on the newcomer. She swore under her breath. “Shit. Why now?”

In had walked Orlando himself. Carrying a large brown bag and wearing what could only be described as a ridiculously bright yellow and green Ride ‘Em Cowboy t-shirt and a yellow cap. It was like her thoughts had called to him. He noticed her looking and tentatively waved, giving her a shy smile. She thought she heard no-name girl say something that sounded like “You know him?” but she ignored it, trying her best to focus what little courage she had and actually take his order. Breathe in. Breathe out. She reckoned the sooner she did it the less it would cost her, so she walked to the table he was sitting at in long decisive strides, perhaps a bit too theatrical for a simple Café in a slow afternoon.

“Hi. Welcome to Fidel’s. What can I get you today?”

“Hey. You’re… Teresa, right?”

Unlike her, he wasn’t a pathetic little creature who repeated a near-stranger’s name over and over in her head until she was sure she had it memorized.

“Yeah. And you’re Orlando…” She mentally grimaced. Thank you, Sherlock!

“Yeah. Sorry, I’m just really bad with names, you know?”

“Do I ever.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “See that girl behind the counter?” She waited for him to nod. “She’s been working here for two days and I still can’t remember her name.”

He laughed and her world gained a whole new variety of colours. She smiled as she took his order. She smiled as she prepared it. She smiled as she delivered it. She even smiled as she noticed it was already past the time for her to leave...

He was probably thinking she was an idiot.

“So that’s it then. See you around sometime.” She said, hating she had to go away so soon after he arrived.

“You’re getting out now?”

“Yeah. I’m finished for the day.”

“Oh… Well… Won’t you sit with me for a bit then?”

Her body went completely still for a minute. Had she heard him correctly? Had he just suggested they spend some time together? Yup, he had. He was waiting for a reply as well.

“Yeah. Sure. Why not? Not like I have anything better to do at home.” She sat down in front of him.

“So… how long have you been here in New Zealand?”

“Not for long. A little over a year.”

“How do you like it?”

“I love it. I think I fell in love with it at first sight.” She grinned. She always grinned when talking about the country. She didn’t know when it had happened, but New Zealand had become her home.

“I know what you mean. It was the same for me. I’m just sorry it won’t be for very long.”

“Oh.” She couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened to know this. “How long will you be here then?”

“I reckon we’ll be here for another year. Then it’ll all be over.”

"It's still a long time for a film shoot isn't it?"

"Yeah. We're shooting three films in one go."

"Wow. By the way, you came here early. You guys left sooner than expected?"

"No. It's my day off. I spent so much time being someone else the past few weeks I needed some time to find myself again. Glad I got it. Been getting to know Wellington. I've seen quite a bit of New Zealand already. Too bad I probably won't have the time to see it all."

“Well. You’ll have to make the most of it before you go home. Which is where, by the way?”

“England. Canterbury, to be exact. Have you ever been?”

“Only once. To London.”

Her mind went back to that first and only trip to London, almost a year prior. She had spent nearly two weeks at the British capital with Ricardo, her now ex-boyfriend. Their relationship had been unstable even before that journey. They carried on with their plans in what they both recognized as an ultimate attempt to salvage whatever was left of their relationship. It hadn’t worked though. They had broken up before those two weeks were over and what was supposed to be the coming-true of a lifetime wish for Teresa (she had been wanting to visit London for years), became the bitter end of a couple’s time. If she were to be completely honest, however, she had to recognize that Ricardo never really tried that hard to stay. Perhaps he wanted to leave all along.

“Teresa?”

And that was why, maybe, Tatiana had been right about this trip. What Teresa really needed was novelty. A break from her quotidian. A break from her mother, who had always insisted it was entirely her fault that Ricardo had left. He’s such a nice young man. He would’ve been good to you, she had said. It felt incredibly good to get away from all that. True, it had been a terribly long flight to New Zealand. More than twenty-four hours spent inside an airplane. Nevertheless, her memories from it recalled the quietness in which she had soon drifted to a world beyond reality as her senses lost their battle with sleep. A recovering sleep. The anxiousness of starting over in a strange place. The contentment she enjoyed now, meeting new people everyday, getting to know people everyday… And then Orlando. Her heartbeat sped up by the mere thought of him. She wanted him near her, why she did not know and could not understand. It was a wanting inherent to her very being and she could not deny it.

“Teresa?”

She snapped out of her trance-like deep-thought state. “I’m sorry… did you say something?”

“I was asking if you liked it there. In London.”

“Oh. Yes. It’s a wonderful city. I just… didn’t travel with the best company…”

He seemed to noticed her sudden bitterness and quickly changed the subject. They spent another hour chatting away the time with neutral themes. She found out he was surprisingly shy one moment and outrageous the next. He smoked but hated the smell of cigarettes. He had perfect cheekbones. He wore a cap because people always looked strangely at his Mohawk. It was bliss. They parted when at last she realized she was late for dinner and was likely to die from one of Tatiana’s legendary scoldings, all the while smiling at each other and behaving as if they had known each other for quite some time. And now Teresa had changed her mind. Maybe agreeing to go to that party had been the best decision she had ever made. Orlando was intoxicating. She was hopeless before her need to have more of him.

tbc... Next chapter...

Welcome July! Harry Potter month!! throws confetti

nokasslash@gmail.com — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 18:06:11 GMT

So here we are at the first day of the Month. Yes it's capitalized. All things of importance must be capitalized. cecine was absolutely right in renaming July as The Great Harry Potter Month Of Two Thousand And Seven! That's exactly what it is! There's the OOTP premiere on the 12th, DH arrives at bookstores on the 21st and glee floats around me in little happy bubbles. =D And I want to change my layout to a Draco Malfoy one but can't find a suitable header! Anyone knows of one?

In other news, my family's as weird as it ever was. Today there was a small gathering here at my place and, as it has become a tradition in the past few weeks, I learned something I didn't need to know. Like, that my uncle's girlfriend calls him bebé (literally "baby"). Isn't that like, an intimate detail or something? I never thought it would be in the Things My Uncle Lets Slip During Conversation category.

Today's a very important day!!! *pops open the champagne*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY realm_of_ylith!!!

Also, my brother and I have weird conversations. Next follows an example that happened today as we were watching Nelly Furtado's performance of Man Eater at the Concert for Diana:

BROTHER: "Wha?? She's a man??" (referring to the lyrics)
ME: "No, dumbass! She's a man eater!"
BROTHER: "So she eats men."
ME: "Figuratively."
BROTHER: "So, basically, she's a slut."
ME: o.O

And because July is more than just HP month, we all need to show we love our little planet and the concert is coming up in a week's time:

Fic: Ever Lasting Flame (2/11) PG-13 HET

nokasslash@gmail.com — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 22:44:23 GMT

Title: Ever Lasting Flame
Author: Nokas
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/OFC
Disclaimer: Nope. Not true. Never happened. Even the OFC doesn't (really) belong to me.
Beta: None. All mistakes are my own. Do point them out if you spot them, please.
Summary: Filled with a need to change, Teresa decides to start her life over in New Zealand. A massive Hollywood production and a one of its actors conspire to make her feel alive once more. (A/N: very crappy summary, I know).

New Zealand had revealed itself to three people on the verge of starting a new life itself through a not so promising looking day. The wind stirred every single particle into a small whirlwind and a gathering of clouds prevented the sky from revealing its colour. Though the temperature was rather warm considering what they were expecting mid-August, it was not a very pleasant day to visit an unknown country. Nevertheless, the breathtaking landscape that surrounded Wellington, making the city seem an inferior harbour of civilization within a great and powerful nature, convinced Teresa, even in the grudge of such a wearying flight, that this trip had indeed been a very good idea. A sense of expectation had taken hold of her and she held a sparkling full smile on her face as she looked throughout the airport’s windows in silent contemplation. The game was set and she prepared to expect the unexpected.

A year had now passed since that day and, inevitably, much had changed. As it was cost-effective, she had been sharing an apartment with Tatiana and her boyfriend. In such a situation one cannot help but feel like one’s imposing. However, no matter how much she hoped the situation would be only temporary it didn’t seem as if it would change soon. She simply could not yet afford a place for herself. She wasn’t uncomfortable living with her friends, quite the opposite. They were her family now. But they also deserved to build a home just for the two of them.

Shortly after their arrival, Tatiana had started working as an assistant librarian and Teresa had found a job as a waitress at Fidel’s Café. It was a not a very large establishment, but it was certainly a lively one serving coffee in the morning, plenty of beer in the late afternoon and meals throughout the day. It was usually a relatively quiet place, frequented by a small crowd of faithful regulars she now knew by name. Or it had been a quiet place, until recently. Lately, the entire city had been in an uproar. Rumour had it that some sort of big Hollywood production was being shot all over the country and was based right there in Wellington. Since Alex had found a job as a stuntman in said production, Teresa happened to know this for a fact. Both she and Tatiana had stared disbelievingly at him when he told them that a good friend of his was part of the main cast of the mysterious film. What were the odds of his relatively unknown actor-friend ending up in New Zealand putting in a good word for him?

Speaking of which, as it was a Friday, he was bound to show up anytime now. Usually everyone left a little earlier on Fridays and Alex took the chance to have a pint with either some of the stunties or with his actor-friend, Billy Boyd. That’s how Teresa had met him. He and Alex had known each other for years and their entertaining bantering was always fun to witness. Billy and she had hit it off instantly and got along great, their sense of humour being very much alike. That week they had been shooting nearby on a beautifully enormous park right there in Wellington called Mount Victoria.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.” Teresa smiled when, as expected, Alex walked inside the Café late in the afternoon. That day his entourage was made up of more than just Billy, he was accompanied by five other men, some of whom she already knew as customers.

“Hello to you too.” Alex said. “Billy wanted all these guys to experience “the best Café in town” so we dragged along some the cast.

“I think it’s time to make introductions and find new friendships.” Billy joined in on the conversation. “All these guys are gonna be famous, ya know? You can only benefit form gettin’ to know them.”

Teresa led the group to a couple of the good tables, right by the window, and Billy introduced her to everyone as they sat. She quickly tried to assimilate that the older guy was Viggo. His eyes were nice. She knew the big-blue eyed one was Elijah. He seemed kind of… bubbly. The big guy was Sala. Judging by his name, he was most likely one of the stuntmen and a local. The blondish guy was Dom. She scowled upon noticing his presence. Billy had brought him to the Café a few weeks before and the Brit had been spending the past month trying to convince him to go out with him through cheesy pick up lines.

“You know” he had said to her one day as she delivered his order “ allow me to feel proud of you for your incredible ability to colour coordinate your background with your wardrobe” he gestured to the his surroundings, flashing her his million dollar smile and avoiding her eyes like a shy teenage boy in front of the school’s most beautiful girl.
Teresa smiled as her eyes wandered through her dark blue jeans, her fluffy light yellow-light orange shirt and her greenish-bluish jacket and at that moment realised that it did indeed match the Café’s decoration. She laughed softly and in it he found the encouragement to go on.

“Yeah, it probably has to do with… what’s your sign?”

“Sagittarius”

“Really?”

“What are you?” She asked, out of simple politeness. Dom always tried to get her to talk to him. He just wouldn’t get the hint that she wasn’t interested.

“Stegosaurus!... Na, I’m kiddin’. You guess.“

“Oh really?” she laughed once again, forcefully this time, and made no effort to actually guess.

“I’m a Sagi, like you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we’re perfect together”

Distracted by these unfortunate recollections, her eyes were unprepared to rest on the vision of the last part of the group. The mohawk guy, owner of the sweet chocolate pools. His name was Orlando. Or so she had just been told. Teresa repeated the name several times in her head, trying to somehow engrave it deep in her mind. No, he surely wasn’t real. Because he couldn’t be. Even with such an unorthodox haircut, no man had the right to look that beautiful. He mesmerized her instantly. What could one do when fantasy suddenly became a part of reality? Her reason soon got lost inside the deep eyes that rose to look at her. The whole world vanished but for those two lakes of sweet darkness.

“So is this your girlfriend then, Alex?” The big guy, Sala, asked.

“No, no, no, no! Don’t get any wrong ideas there mate! She’s my girlfriend’s best friend.”

“And I share an apartment with him. It’s enough to make me certain that we’ll never be more than friends.” Teresa joked, getting everyone’s laughter in reply.

“Also, I’m not suicidal.” Alex added.

“Well, that’s certainly good news.” Dom looked almost relieved for a second. He had startled upon hearing Sala’s question and Teresa almost wished Alex had actually said he was her boyfriend, if only for the sake of ridding her of this regular nuisance.

“So what will everyone be having then?” She finally inquired, taking everyone’s orders and walking away to get everything ready.

Her eyes repeatedly strayed to the male figure sitting in the corner, leaning against the wall. He looked relaxed as he talked to the older man next to him, Viggo, with a smile drawn on his lips. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply in the certainty that when her eyelids went back up the figure would no longer be there. How could someone be so intensely fascinating? Obviously, this instant fascination of hers wasn’t the least bit returned. He had barely even looked at her as they were introduced. As she approached their table, carrying a tray filled with their orders, she felt her skin burn; she knew his gaze rested on her. It was almost too much to bear. He was quiet too. Her ears had not yet had the chance to become enamoured with the melody of his voice. Everyone seemed to be animatedly discussing a soon-to-take-place party involving the presence of members of cast, crew and stunt team. Dom was telling something about an incident involving a John Rhys Davies ordering enough food to feed forty people for a dinner of twelve as Billy claimed New Zealand’s landscape should be enjoyed even at a party.

“You’re absolutely right. There’s no place as beautiful as New Zealand. Here are your orders gentlemen. I’m constantly amazed by all this beauty!”

Sala imediately became extremely proud of his land’s charm and agreed instantly and enthusiastically.

“So are you free two weeks from now Teresa?” Dom asked excitedly, looking every bit a man facing a golden opportunity. Teresa mentally rolled her eyes. Here we go again.
“I’m not sure.”

“Oh c’mon, you just have to come to the party. Right guys?” He received several nods from his co-workers sitting around the table. “See? Everyone wants you to.”

“Still, I don’t know if can.”

“Oh c’moooooon. Don’t play hard to get.”

Teresa’s cheeks bursted into flame. Why did he have to flirt so openly with her? It was damn embarrassing in front of all these people she had just met! He had made them all laugh with his stupid comment. And calling her a tease too. The little blond creep.

“She’s just shy!” Alex said, smiling as the chuckling stopped.

“There is certainly nothing wrong with being shy.”

Teresa raised her eyes, at the sound of a new voice. He spoke! Stupid her, of course he spoke! God had given him that wonderful voice, which could melt her completely with nothing but a word, for something! But… He was defending her! Right? She saw him smiling at her and nearly dropped the empty tray in her hands. It was official; she had never felt so stupid in her entire life!

“You really should come though, Teresa. Tatiana’s coming too and if she has you there she won’t feel so out of sorts in the middle of such a varied crowd.”

Finally agreeing, albeit still hesitantly, Teresa looked up to spot a pair of dark soulful eyes staring at her. Something shot to her heart at that moment. A feeling of the arrival of a crossroad of fate. An emotion that could be described as both fear and hope. It was strange. She felt strange. Her soul seemed to jump in and out of her body, her stomach seemed to curl into a tiny ball, her heart seemed to climb through her throat. And she knew then, she had agreed to come to a party, not for the sake of a possibly lonely friend, but as an answer to a longing to see the beautiful Orlando once again.

tbc... Next chapter...

Fic: Ever Lasting Flame (1/11) PG-13 HET

nokasslash@gmail.com — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 23:07:24 GMT

This piece of fanfiction was written especially for teresabloom. I had her in mind all the time while writing it and this is my gift and little homage to her. I promised myself I would finish it for her and I did 'cause I'm a stubborn git. Even though it's HET! Hope you like it hun! ♥

Title: Ever Lasting Flame
Author: Nokas
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/OFC
Disclaimer: Nope. Not true. Never happened. Even the OFC doesn't (really) belong to me.
Beta: None. All mistakes are my own. Do point them out if you spot them, please.
Summary: Filled with a need to change, Teresa decides to start her life over in New Zealand. A massive Hollywood production and a one of its actors conspire to make her feel alive once more. (A/N: very crappy summary, I know).

It was the first day of the last Spring before a new millennium and, somewhere in Portugal, the sun was high in the clear blue of a Saturday morning sky. A piercing sound dragged a young woman out of her perhaps sweet dream into the world of the awaken. God, what was that awful sound? From the depths of her sleep she couldn’t tell. Grudgingly, she tried to open her eyes, only to find that they were too heavy and her mind was unwilling to let go of such a pleasant dream. With extreme reluctance, Teresa’s eyelids moved upwards while she realized that it was just the sound of the phone ringing. Surprised with this late acknowledgement she hurried out of bed, forcing her body to move, to pick it up. Her voice sounded husky and distant; a proof she still hadn’t entirely entered reality.

On the other side of the line was her best of friends: Tatiana. She sounded quite excited. Teresa wondered what could have happened to brighten her mood in such a way, making her seem like a young child who had just been given a new toy. Tatiana had been rather blue since her beloved boyfriend had gone back to England. Alex was the name of that prince charming and they had met eight months prior when he had come to Portugal on a student exchange program. Teresa had been surprised to find herself thinking of them as a two-pieced puzzle, but that was how they worked together. But all the gloom didn’t seem to matter at the moment since Tatiana appeared to hold great news in her power. And indeed she did. The best of news. Alex, the “love of her life”, had just called confirming the possession of three one-way tickets to Wellington, New Zealand.

“That’s great! You lucky, lucky decided wankers. When are you off?”, Teresa asked, already sharing part of her friend’s enthusiasm.

“August 8th! Wow! New Zealand! Isn’t it awesome?”

“Yeah. And so very, very far away…”

“Don’t spoil my fun! Anyway, have you decided whether or not I’m travelling to the other side of the world alone?”

“You won’t be alone; Alex will be there with you won’t he?”

“Yes, but I can’t expect him to be with me all the time, can I? That’s why I came up with an alternative solution! Who can be better company than my best friend? Besides we’ll meet lots of new people there! We’ll have lots of fun! It’ll take your mind off other issues…”

Tatiana stopped herself. Once she started yammering she had a tendency to not think before a flood of words was out of her mouth. She had to be careful with her words. She knew better than anyone how tender Teresa was at the moment. Her friend had recently ended a bad relationship. The whole process had left her deeply hurt and broken-hearted. Healing always took time but a little push from a friend wouldn’t do any harm, would it? That’s why, after deciding to move to New Zealand with Alex, she had invited Teresa to join them. They had been discussing it for a few months, despite her friend’s initial reluctance. A move across continents would bring the radical change her friend so desperately needed at the moment. She could have a new life. If she ran away, maybe all the things that had haunted her thoughts for some time did not follow. Besides, if things didn’t go as smoothly as they were hoping for, she could always return home. After a moment’s hesitation, she went on.

“And it’ll be sooooo great! We’ll go hiking and swimming and we’ll get to know a completely new culture! Think of it as a cultural investment! I mean, it’ll be brilliant! A chance to star over!”

“Alright, alright, stop the advertising!”

“Sure, hun. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you. Take your time. The tickets are refundable, no worries. Just make sure your making the right choice, that’s the most important thing right now. Forget about me and your parents and everyone you’ve ever met. It’s time to be selfish. Think only of yourself, ‘kay?”

“I will. It’s just… hard to set on a resolution that’ll affect me so much.”

“I know hun. Don’t fry your poor little brain over it, though. It’s no shame if you come back after a while. You can think of it as an extended vacation. Maybe we can even find you a pretty-pretty Romeo… Rebound can’t last forever you know? You’re too good looking not to have a fine specimen of a man crawling at your feet.” Tatiana replied teasingly.

“Oh shut up! As if…” Laugh as she may at her friend’s comments, she knew in her heart she just wasn’t ready for a new commitment yet. It was all or nothing for her and at the moment she would settle for nothing. She had her asshat ex-boyfriend to thank for that, with his possessive behaviour that turned their relationship into a claustrophobic one.

“It’s good to have a man to do your biding.”

“Just because you jump Alex every chance you get…” Teresa trailed off mischievously.

“And would do so more often if there was no chance of being arrested!”

“You’re incorrigible!” Teresa laughed “You know…” she added, hesitantly, “We’re… we’re going to be so far away from here. Away from everything we know.”

“That’s a good thing. Magical things can happen.”

Teresa let an incredulous snort escape her. “Like what?”

“Like you meeting some guy who cares for you and isn’t a complete jerk!”

“Wow! Now there’s some magic right there…”

“Don’t say that! I hate it when you talk like that, as if your fate is set. It isn’t! Anything can happen! That’s the beauty and the tragedy of life.”

“Well, whisper some magic words when you land in New Zealand, just in case.”

“Now, now honey… Sarcasm doesn’t suit you. Why do you even bother to argue with me? You know I’m always right.”

They spent a few more minutes discussing the details for their trip, so Teresa could confidently make her mind up, before they hung up. She then headed for the bathroom thinking of her friend with a grin on her lips. She was the best. The two of them had known each other for five years, since their first year in high school, and still Tatiana could come up with something new every month! One could never claim to know her entirely. Perhaps the upcoming journey and all the time they would spend in each other’s company would make things different. Then again, it probably wouldn’t. That’s just the way she was. Teresa looked at her own reflection in a mirror as she slowly brushed her dark brown long hair. What the hell did she do to herself in her sleep? She looked like a monster out of a bad horror flick! Her greenish brown eyes were framed by deep purple rings, a testament to the little sleep she had been having for the past month. She stood staring at oblivion.

Should she throw herself into the unknown? Should she bid farewell to all that signified home to her and embark on a journey that would take her away from anything even remotely familiar? It was no wonder Tatiana was so insistent on her going. Granted her friend was concerned for her well being and wanted her to be carefree once again but change is always easier when you carry a little bit of home with you. And New Zealand was, quite literally, half a world away.

Life is nothing but a jumble of ridiculous things all thrown together into an unknown period of time. Every once in a while, something makes sense but mostly one’s path is played by ear. Falling in love is a ridiculous feeling brought about by a series of ridiculous moments and events. It never makes sense. Except it does, in a ridicule-deciphering corner of one’s heart. Or whatever. Maybe an adventure was just what she needed. Who knew what would make sense in the long run? From a new life, one can only expect the unexpected. And didn't they say young people could handle anything? She needed to feel alive once more.

Holding tight to her resolution, Teresa made her way back to her phone and dialled a number she had known by heart for years, waiting for her best friend’s expecting voice to answer on the other end.

“Alright then… I’ll go.” Teresa said at last, giving in to her friend’s persuasive powers and, most importantly, to the clear need she felt to get away from her own life.

tbc... Next chapter...

It's that time of the year... for the last time...

nokasslash@gmail.com — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 16:53:54 GMT

So it's exam season. A hateful period of time that's been happening twice a year for the past four years. Nobody likes exams. Only a crazy person would enjoy such things. But I find myself feeling rather nostalgic towards them this time. After all, it's the LAST TIME I'll be taking exams. This is it. I'm graduating from college. Time to fully accept my adulthood. Only, I don't have one to accept! XD

I thought four years was quite a long time but, clearly, I was very wrong!

Amidst all the studying and the merry St. John's festivities (wheeee I went to see the marchas populares here in Almada!!), my dearly beloved teresabloom reminded I needed to get my ass into gear and finish my much delayed het fic Ever Lasting Flame. So I did!! HURRAY FOR ME!

I (ashamedly) confess it was EXTREMELY difficult to write it. First of all, it's HET!! Oh the horror!! A boy and a GIRL?? YUCK! =P Secondly, I painfully discovered that all the chapters I had written made no sense at all! How thrilling! So I had the change the whole bloody thing and actually managed to come up with something not too long and making sense! *thumbsup*

All this, to warn everyone to run for the hills when you see the upcoming 10 posts of said fic. It's het! It's gross! XD Hopefully, my slash will get back into place once I'm done with it. ♥

Because it's rainy and I'm obsessed with Mika

nokasslash@gmail.com — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 21:54:43 GMT

Is anyone else obsessing over Mika?? Cause I'm enjoing Life in Cartoon Motion way too much to be healthy! XD The songs just lift my spirits and make me happily sing along like a maniac on crack!

WTF is up with this weather? It's like late Autumn rainy days outside even though it's almost Summer time! Not that I mind the lack of suffocating heat,, but still...

I finally feel like I'm truly back on LJ. I've changed my layout (slightly), moodtheme and userinfo. I'm currently catching up on my reading and finishing a batch of icons (I'm not really back unless there are icons XD). Online life is good.

RL, however, isn't so good in some ways. Do you know the feeling of having SO MANY things to do that you can't feel glad to have finished one of them cause there's still 1000 more to go? That's how I feel right now. Trapped and cramped. Also, another one of my family members is in the hospital since Monday. My uncle hurt his Achilles tendon and had surgery today. My friends say my family needs to be blessed or exorcised or something. =P It's the 4th person in my family to be hospitalized this year.

On the other hand, mood around the house is great. My dad's behaving like a hyperactive 5 year-old and is constantly (playfully) bickering with my mom. My brother is under the impression he can sing Metallica. You know, the normal stuff for your everyday wacko family. =P I still think that if cameras were set up around the house we'd make a great show. LOL. If I'm ever commited for "psychiatric disturbances" they'll put me in a regular home since I'm already in the NUTHOUSE. XD

Clearly, I should be doing something else and that's why I'm posting... Procastination is my friend...